Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my boyfriend ate glitter. When I asked him why he would do such an insane thing, he replied, "I wanted my jizz to sparkle." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, in the bathroom. I noticed a pregnancy test in the trash can. He lives alone. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
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Top comments
zaksyak 1
You Can't?
xoxosuperbad 5
You hit the jackpot there
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Comments (212)
newbiehere99 6
At least he didn't put the test up his ass ... Then you'd have a real sad FML to post
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
It seems like someone never took a day of Human Growth and Development class...
kimmyN 5
Fyl
dancelifee01 5
The **** did I just read ?
isaiahyoung99 2
Did it??
addiepaul 0
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahathats funny
maxmmoreau1 1
Did it work?
Ceejay1 13
stupid ass !
Iamme30069 5
Completely logical
DrownedMyFish 18
Did it work?