Today, while out shopping, I noticed a seedy bum kept following a girl around the store. Trying to be a good samaritan, I trailed them into the street. The bum jogged up behind her and looked like he was about to grab her, so I ran up and tackled him to the ground. Turns out he was her father. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at the mall, I ran into a lost, crying little girl. It was my best friend's daughter. She recognized and clung on to me. As I called her dad, some nosy lady snatched her from me and caused a scene, screaming, "KIDNAPPER!" As I got apprehended, her claim was she heard me say, "If you still want to see her…" FML
Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML
Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML
Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML
Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML
Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, I saw a woman drop her wallet in the grocery store. Being a good citizen, I sprinted after her to return it. She heard me running, panicked and took off. I ended up chasing her through three aisles saying, “Wait! I have your wallet!” Security got involved. FML
Today, I was at the mall and I saw a kid crying. I asked her "What's wrong sweetie, are you lost?" She ran away screaming "Help me!" I ended up having to explain to a dumb mall cop that I'm not a perv. FML
Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML
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Top comments
tarabelle 7
thank you for trying to do the right thing, but I'm sorry it didn't go the way you thought it would.
DeathBunny218 37
Most stalkers start out as "Good samaritans" :P ... and didn't you notice them at the checkout together because they must have spoke to each other at some point
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Comments (97)
Enigmax2514 7
It's ok man we all made mistakes it's better to tackle her weirdo mischievous aggressor than to ignore the whole thing and watch her get raped or something... Better safe than sorry, prevention is better than cure I always say
fuckmrsoftee 0
dont apologize. state your case bluntly and explain everything as you saw it, tell him how he looked and demand him to by you dinner (not eat with you, just buy dinner). that's what i would've done.
Bloodywolf20 9
If my daughter was about to be attacked by some homless perv i would like someone to protect her if i wasnt there I salute the fine man protecting the young lady Even if it was a faults alarm
Xero3g 5
You need to learn to noone your own ******* business.
Raheemdplayer 7
Least some people aren't selfish these days. Good on you and don't let it stop you from doing it again. FYL
Calyx_fml 22
YDI. You are not batman. He should press charges against you asshat.
hoonyer 17
you had the right intentions
ChicksBipolar911 0
Hey, shit happens. at least You cared enough to do something.
Emperorerror 8
Well, at least you had the right intentions, but don't you think she'd notice?
candyaddict54 3
You did a good thing by helping but unfortunately your efforts backfired. I would have done something like that to if I were in that situation.
ShuffleSound 2
Today, while I walked to my car with my daughter, a man unexpectedly tackled me to the ground. Apparently, he thought I was a bum who was after her. FML.