Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, I walked face first into a near-invisible spiderweb. There's nothing worse than the feeling of a spider web wrapped around your face. Except maybe the feeling of the spider that saw my screaming mouth as a good hiding spot. FML
Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML
Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML
Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
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Top comments
AnFrickenTwan 19
Whelp, time to shave your head
jimeple 12
I have no idea what the gestation period is for spiders but I suggest you look it up.
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Comments (41)
M3DO 24
You might as well go ahead and pull a Kurt Cobain, the spider probably laid eggs in your head.
littlekellilee 45
Too soon. It'll never stop being too soon.
littlekellilee 45
Too soon. It'll never stop being too soon.
dontknow1 19
That's why i don't go hiking.
Zmanryan3 9
Well at least the spider got to go on an adventure. Sorry about your food though.
H4H 15
I'd recommend talking to a trichologist if you have any worries about your hair, in the meantime, use a strong hair cleanser. Good luck
charmanderisfire 18
The only solution is to catch your hair on fire :)
buckdharma 38
Maybe it was a Japanese spider that committed Hairykari?
Iamskynet 18
i think you must've been eating insects.
JCRouzer29 27
Shake It Off reference here
acmariner99 25
The level of NOPE is strong with this FML
Dictionaryspeaks 18
The point of the story is spiders never hurt a fly only hurt a fly #spiderslifesmatter #keepspidersoutofcereal
martucha854 11
I don't know why I laughed so hard at this one.