Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in my backyard goofing around when he tried to pick me up. He couldn't. I jokingly tried to lift him. I did so without much effort. FML
Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought a bikini he wanted me to wear in our hot tub. Unfortunately, I ran out of swimsuits for my daily swim at the public pool, so I took the new bikini. Now I know why he wanted to be alone when I wore it, as water turns it see-through and melts the stitching so it falls off. FML
Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML
Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML
Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML
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Top comments
carrotpuke 0
You just got a free breast lift!
JukeboxBunny 0
How hard are your boobs for that to even be a remote possibility?
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Comments (154)
Cookiemjnw 0
Your boyfriends an asshole
ILIEKGIRLS 5
I gotta try that sometime.
elijahisme 0
dumb boyfriend
Compass 0
Well, you ARE lighter underwater...
maude_fml 0
i'm so not surprised that happened in WA... we have the dumbest people here.........
erjaguam 0
#104: make your own fml about your balls being in pain. #118: you need to see a therapist OP I hope you're ok. if men do not like their testicles being hit, us women does not find it amusing when our breast are treated harshly such as OP's experience.
idkweird 0
I find it funny that everyone is hereis all about retaliating and kicking the guy in the nuts, whereas in the xbox FML, all the girls are like,"I would never do that, omg! That was completely uncalled for!" As a girl, it doesn't matter what's happened. Kicking, hitting, pulling testicles is NOT ok! I sometimes use it as a threat like, "Im going to kick you in the junk if you don't stop that!" Everyone knows I never would, though. Also, kicking a guy in the testicles can lead to a testicular torsion, which, if not caught in time (I believe there's like a 12 hour window?) causes the ******** to die from lack of blood flow and then it has to be removed. So, the sterilization thing, in fact, is true.
idkweird 0
in here is*
NiCKi_MiNAj_fml 0
lmfaooooooo funniest thing ever
talikarni 0
I am sorry but you deserve it for even being with a guy that is that dumb to begin with.... somehow I doubt this is the dumbest thing he has done... and it is probably a daily occurance.
Batman4890 0
omg everyone who said "your boyfriend is a asshole" or "dumb boy friend" **** OFF! there is no need we know he is dumb and even then he's not a ass hole he's just trying something new if you want to comment say something new!