Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in my backyard goofing around when he tried to pick me up. He couldn't. I jokingly tried to lift him. I did so without much effort. FML
Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought a bikini he wanted me to wear in our hot tub. Unfortunately, I ran out of swimsuits for my daily swim at the public pool, so I took the new bikini. Now I know why he wanted to be alone when I wore it, as water turns it see-through and melts the stitching so it falls off. FML
Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML
Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML
Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML
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Top comments
carrotpuke 0
You just got a free breast lift!
JukeboxBunny 0
How hard are your boobs for that to even be a remote possibility?
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Comments (154)
goatlove 0
NUMBER 38'S SONG IS THE BEST!!!!!!
goatlove 0
oops! 36 not 38 :)
YeahFMLxX 0
all the fml girls are complaining about the "hurt" they recieved when they get poked in the boob. when all guys know that getting poked in the balls is like having a metal steak jabbed in your side with the aftershock of a truck slamming into your wankerstick. etc. girls stop your bitching! OP you probably have no boobs thus he was planning on going for the "scoop." fail (:
fangles 0
Ah, I know the feeling. It happens to me once a month, only minus the wankerstick bit and plus the feeling of someone hitting you repeatedly in the kidneys with a baseball bat. I'll probably get to experience the feeling of truck vs. fiddly bits when I experience the wonder of giving birth.
cms_family 0
all i can say is owwwwwwwww
Rachel420o8 0
asshole... what a dumbass... i mean, come on!!... y in the hell would he even think that he would be able to do it?
Jason_Q 4
wtf I got a pool and I never done this. It seems fun. I know what I am missing out on...
bladelix86 0
how do they hurt (I wouldn't know cuz I'm a guy)
fatty_le 0
your boyfriend is awesome
hollar14 0
hahahahahahahahh FAIL!!!!!!!!
EveryDayJackAss 0
maybe you should lift his ballsacks next time, see how he feels(it could be a mixed bag though)