Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. I slipped a ruler into it and started scratching to relieve the itch. Part of the ruler ended up snapping off inside. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML
Today, I got a mosquito bite under each armpit. FML
Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML
Today, I was laying out in my backyard trying to get some color when I felt a little tickle on my lips. I rubbed them together to satisfy the itch, when I felt a sort of crunchiness popping between them. I had crushed a spider between my lips and its legs were still moving. FML
Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML
Today, I was with my kids. We saw a tiny little bug and they started freaking out. Trying to show them that bugs are not scary, I picked it up. It bit me and now I have to go to the doctor because my hand is the size of a balloon. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for what I thought was a persistent bug bite. Turns out it was a mole I'd never noticed. I had been scratching it then applying anti-itch cream for weeks. FML
Today, I got a bug bite on my boob. I scratched it so much it started bleeding so I put a bandaid on it. Turns out the band-aid had latex in it and I got an allergic reaction to it. The bug bite is still bleeding and the top half of my boob is swollen. FML
Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML
Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
You should've bought one of the unbreakable ones then eh? Ir's a general rule-r of thumb not to stick anything long and losable into any deep crevice or hole.
Shortay123 14
My friend got an eraser stuck inside his cast and he had to get the cast taken off and get a new one on because it was causing him so much discomfort. When they took it off he had a HUGE bruise where the eraser was. So I would suggest you go get that out immediately because it might affect your healing process. And how did you get a mosquito bite there anyway? Did it happen before?
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Comments (46)
Pleonasm 36
You should've bought one of the unbreakable ones then eh? Ir's a general rule-r of thumb not to stick anything long and losable into any deep crevice or hole.
sugarshane007 20
Pleonasm, what is the point of life if you can't stick long, loseable things into random dark holes?
Pleonasm 36
Sticking long things that are sturdy or firmly connected to something else into those holes instead. And also, the obligatory "42" "bacon" "boobs" "cats" or other reference to answer your question.
Roskosity 22
Immeasurable stupidity.
sugarshane007 20
Pleo, clarity came at 42. Thank you.
isallwaysme 27
he's on his way to end up like the guy on community. with the broken itchy leg and everything was in his cast
solosohigh 15
get another one and push it out. or let your skin eat the ruler, either way.
dramaelf 37
If that happens you might get to be on TV!
Allennis44 16
I'm fairly certain that's not how skin works. However, I'm no doctor.
MyNameIsViet 15
55, no, but its how sarcasm works.
dramaelf 37
Does it still itch? If not, mission accomplished.
Jaxx66 21
Hehe.... 'Doesn't matter, scratched itch'!
yrue82 7
Lets hope that cast comes out soon!
ilovedinosawers 17
It must be one of those fancy casts that you ingest and it slips around your bone then, once the bone is healed, it comes out through your excrement.
Shortay123 14
My friend got an eraser stuck inside his cast and he had to get the cast taken off and get a new one on because it was causing him so much discomfort. When they took it off he had a HUGE bruise where the eraser was. So I would suggest you go get that out immediately because it might affect your healing process. And how did you get a mosquito bite there anyway? Did it happen before?
melons 44
What was he trying to erase?!
AshaaFerreira 22
His injury!
Shortay123 14
He was also trying to scratch an itch, but he used a pencil and there was one of those eraser tops on it and it got stuck inside. Derp for him.
Freethaawave 19
Time for a new cast, OP!
sugarshane007 20
Well that surely didn't measure up to what you had planned.
HaneenDixon 16
She/he should've ruled out that plan in the first place and come up with a better one
_GoodGuy 11
If you got the itch, all is good, if you got the ruler stuck and the itch is still there... FYL Op.
sarahjanesmith 12
Haven't you seem any sit-com in the history of tv? What did you think was going to happen?
Zen_Mei 17
Obviously he thought it'd relief the itch duhh
fuzz97 23
I don't think that ever happened on a sitcom
fsomelife 26
Constant scratcher. You should shove a bunch more things down there and look surprised when the docs take your cast off.