Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as "The Cheese Stick Incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML
Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML
Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML
Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sharkgirl4 23
On the plus side, cheese sticks are delicious. Maybe that will work in your favor?
AviKerensky 17
You cheddar make it work next time.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (85)
fabulouskenaz 6
The Cheese Touch: Later Years
jcast0627 9
Tell your friends to leave you provolone!
Xeivan 15
dont feel to bad bro. my first time I tried to lose my virginity I got so nervous I couldn't get hard either. it happens to a lot of guys. you're not alone!
alindori 2
Op seriously don't feel bad about it, it's embarrassing but it happened to me the first THREE times my first serious girlfriend and I tried to have sex. It's normal especially if you're self conscious like I was, you'll get over it in time. This might be bad advice but I found that if the girl "stimulates" you first, it almost always rises to the occasion... If you know what I mean. Good luck Op
ya_boy_jimmy1996 11
what happened?