Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as "The Cheese Stick Incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML
Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML
Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML
Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
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Top comments
sharkgirl4 23
On the plus side, cheese sticks are delicious. Maybe that will work in your favor?
AviKerensky 17
You cheddar make it work next time.
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Comments (85)
AlGrabIt 12
It's pretty common not being able to get it up the first time. it's something new, you're nervous as hell, you might feel vulnerable. I'm not sure which of you told your friends, but it's not something they should be making fun of. if she told them, it sounds like she wants attention from them. as in "he couldnt get it up, who can?" sort of contex.
FranckGonzalz 16
Just tell them that your cheese is too good for anybody ;)
thatralphdude 3
To be honest that's one hell of a story to tell
vlalam 24
just laugh it off buddy
gingypuff 1
I'd be embarrassed as the girl, if she can't make someone get a boner than she must suck at turning guys on
flee2321 10
Don't be mean but i don't understand the cheese stick reference. I'm 30 and way too old not to understand but I'd rather ask and learn than pretend. Lol.
ordinarygent 14
It might not be your fault... Idk what the situation for you. But I know if a girl just takes her clothes off and doesn't do anything else but lay there it probably won't get me hard anytime soon
ThaReaper319 19
Hey man, it's alright. I did the same thing. I got so nervous that it literally stopped working when I was having my first time.
Axel5238 29
I feel bad for you OP. It's one thing to laugh about stuff int he bedroom long time after it's happened between couples it's another to spread it to friends not long after. Who knows what else should would or wouldn't tell what goes on in the bedroom.
Parvati48 15
It really sucks that they are all teasing you like that OP. However, I kind of want a follow up so you can explain how it being called the 'cheese stick incident' is appropriate. Did you try to lube up with cheese? O.o