That 20%
Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that not all black people are lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML
Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that not all black people are lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML
Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML
Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML
Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML
Today, a colleague found out that I struggled with anorexia when young. After ranting about how it's a silly 'Women's disease', he renamed me 'Miss Piggy' and made oinking noises every time I ate something. FML
Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML
Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML
Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
candiicane 12
Where does that even come from?
OffToTheGayBar 9
Ignorance, don't ya love it? I do.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (133)
snarkytruth 37
There are very few articles about things like this and they are usually related second hand or by comedians that repeat it as a rule. You can't blame people who learned it from unreliable sources. That doesn't make him all the dumb names people are calling him. Refusing to accept the truth after being corrected does make him stubborn and ridiculous. Having to find a way to justify it so he can make peace with the idea is the real kicker - it's because your mixed! Poor guy is really set in his ways. I feel sorry for people that are so closed minded and inflexible in their thinking.
LyricaSilvan 30
Whether you're calling him racist or not, his refusal to believe you - coupled with the assumption itself - is still pretty racist.
hamusta 13
To be fair, if you are African American there's a great chance that you are mixed even with two black parents.
XxAnnaXxBellexX 15
#278 it's the same with me haha. Waking up feeling nauseous is worth it for those little moments of dairy happiness. It's better when you have Lactaid pills though.
antisolid87 5
#284 I wouldn't call that asymptomatic I would say that is a symptom. I'm the same way and lactose intolerant.
MariaGiovanni 25
aww I got down voted. 294 I mean asymptomatic because I can eat it, I just don't like it. like nothing happens when I eat cheese just hot chocolate and I just hate dairy. So I wonder if it's my baby's way of telling me to stay away by making it unappealing. who knows bodies are strange and interesting.
william623 4
Actually you are only half right. Yes Northern Europe did develop the lactase persistence gene due to herding. BUT it also developed is Southern Africa independently due to a random mutation. So what you said is wrong, it is not a large population but some Africans and their descendants can be lactase persistent with out the European gene.
Badkarma4u 17
That 75 is based on the amount of northern european genes. The more european genes you cary the less likely you are to be lactose intollereant. In corrolation black people that cary more european genes also tend to be lighter than someone with less. Which is why 75 is only an average. If your friend was around black people with little northern european blood he could easily not know anyone who was not lactose intollerant.
william623 4
After a certain age the lactase gene is deactivated due to milk no longer being the primary food source. Only in herding populations did the gene remain active.
badluckbastard 14
Murica!
GokuSS400 18
More like PETA