Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML
Today, I was walking around school alone and felt someone tap my back. I laughed and turned around to find no one was there. I felt confused when I felt the tapping again, which is when I chose to yell at the nearest person, "What?!" I later found out it was a bottle in my backpack tapping me. FML
Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML
Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Today, I was on a packed bus when my phone rang. I tried to answer, but my wired earbuds got tangled. I tugged too hard, yanking my phone out of my hand. It flew forward, smacked a man in the forehead, then bounced into a stranger’s coffee cup. FML
Today, I was on a bus and a man was feeling up my butt. I was just about to step on his foot when the bus stopped and he slipped out. Only then did I realize he'd stolen my wallet. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Why the hell would that be your first reaction? "Somebody tapped my shoulder - I'm gonna punch their nuts!"
Lucious306 7
You're way too paranoid
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (136)
Levvy 22
I guess shoulder-tapping is a grave offense of some kind on your home planet.
SoultheWolf 19
There is no sense of treat at all for someone tapping you on the shoulder. It's people like you who are the reason people don't want to do something kind. Then when someone is actually being injured, mugged, raped, ect. people don't want to help. YDI for being a bitch.
totheforest84 4
What is with woman these days. You can't just assault someone because you're not paying attention to your surroundings. Man hit in the balls for doing you a favor. This is one of the reasons why chivalry is so hard for woman to find anymore.
kayPandastyle 15
Lmfao reminds me of that old 'Hey Arnold' episode where arnold karate chops this kids clothes off! "I just wanted to know where the bus stop was!"
loohoozuuhuur 13
Poor guy... You must be short of attention. Get yourself a pet or something.
micdunn 4
You deserved it...HIS life sucks; FHL
I_am_original 1
Whats with people and targeting the crotch for no good reason?? The other person better be actively trying to hurt you before you resort to THAT
EvilDave 13
He should have had you arrested for battery, you psycho bitch.
shawnagreenbean1 9
You deserved it so hard. Someone was just trying to be a good person and you automatically try to hurt them, without even knowing why they were trying to get your attention? Yep, **** you. It's not like they GRABBED you or something
PurpleDrankkx 7
******* prick