Today, I started my job at a kids summer camp. The first little girl to arrive told me to close my eyes and open my hand because she had a "surprise" for me. Yep, a dead, decomposed sparrow covered in all sorts of bugs sure is a surprise. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was working as a camp counselor helping a five year-old girl. I heard her mumble, "My grandpa is getting married on Saturday." I enthusiastically replied and told her how exciting that was! Only after did I realize that she'd said "buried." FML
Today, the summer camp I work at had its annual scavenger hunt, wherein the counselors hide and the kids look for us. It was my first year there, so some of my colleagues showed me the "best hiding spot." Two hours later, still undiscovered, I realized they just wanted to get rid of me. FML
Today, I woke up to an unexpected surprise for my birthday. It wasn't cake, nor ice cream. It was hundreds of baby spiders crawling all over me. FML
Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML
Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML
Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML
Today, I went to my new job at a pre-school. I was really excited because everything was going so well, and a little boy even said he was drawing a picture of me. He even gave it to me when he was finished. Well it was me, but I was also on fire and being stabbed and shot multiple times. FML
Today, while stocking the green beans at work, I picked up a "leaf" which turned out to be a grasshopper. I screamed so loud, my coworkers now think I'm crazy. This is only my second week here. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
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Top comments
BntyHntrSeattle 30
That joke flew right over our heads...
Doodleoodlebug 18
What a wonderful way to start your new job! Maybe tomorrow you will get a squirrel?
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Comments (56)
Pleonasm 36
Fear not, some of us are birds of a feather and will support you.
perdix 31
Why would you think anyone who was sent there during the summer in Texas would give you something nice? Temperatures hovering around 100 F, high humidity and aggressive mosquitoes. No one there is going to be a . . . *lowers sunglasses* happy camper.
rmoman007 7
Yummy
olpally 33
Take it and say thank you. Then run to the woods with a lighter and burn that dead animal. Lol.
fareith 15
People on the internet sicken me.
ahinners 11
I work with little kids at a daycare too, while there are some low points it is still a rewarding and enjoyable experience.
ShakeDisPlace 10
Did you make a "tweet" about this OP?
lilhellian 27
Then get off.
iDaika9xL 13
Ur job sound fun and kids must love u a lot
RVAriverRAT88 9
Congrats you just meet Jason,s little sister.