Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mario Kart, she decided to leave. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML
Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I beat her once again in a trivia game. She said that I was cheating, and if I was cheating on the game, I was definitely cheating on her as well. FML
Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML
Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML
Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, my husband and son ganged up on me in a game of Mario Kart. I threw the game down and stormed off. The last thing I saw was them high-fiving and yelling "RAGE QUIT" and laughing hysterically. They will both suffer for this. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Stepherrss 0
& This is a FML why? Were you expecting your EX to stay the night and **** your brains out? Grow up, she came over as a friend, to help out, not to screw you to make you feel better.
PhillyFox 0
And then you realized there's a reason she's your ex.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (56)
Primus_fml 0
I guess by "console" she really meant she would play on your console.
djmigues 7
I see what you did there.
charloemm 7
Auggggh. Seriously? If you need a **** to get your mind off of a break up, then don't try and use your friends, go find a hooker. If that's all you're keeping her around for, it's cruel. She's a person, not your right hand.
sleepystoner 0
Ydi for sucking at mariokart
mjammal 0
I didn't know Mario kart was one word
bethany_camille 0
why did you have an ex comfort you after a breakup??
Stepherrss 0
well obviously she was there as a friend, she obviously still cares about him enough to try and cheer him up, he should take that as it is and stfu. It doesn't mean she was obligated to sleep with him lol.
mante_fml 0
this was stupid fml
lilbigwill99 0
lol why were you playing Mario cart?
bellaec825 4
ur lucky she came over at all to comfort u i mean this is ur ex wouldnt it be awkward if u guys hugged??? so instead u lost to a girl at mario carts!!!! lol
kainpwnsu 19
Apparently, she thought you may have left you balls in your late girlfriend's purse... and discovered she was right. Get over it.