Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mario Kart, she decided to leave. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML
Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I beat her once again in a trivia game. She said that I was cheating, and if I was cheating on the game, I was definitely cheating on her as well. FML
Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML
Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML
Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, my husband and son ganged up on me in a game of Mario Kart. I threw the game down and stormed off. The last thing I saw was them high-fiving and yelling "RAGE QUIT" and laughing hysterically. They will both suffer for this. FML
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Top comments
Stepherrss 0
& This is a FML why? Were you expecting your EX to stay the night and **** your brains out? Grow up, she came over as a friend, to help out, not to screw you to make you feel better.
PhillyFox 0
And then you realized there's a reason she's your ex.
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Comments (56)
Doortje 30
No you wouldn't Sirin, don't pretend be so violent. We all know you still play with barbies and that you kiss your entire Furby collection goodnight before you go to bed.
Sirin_fml 47
That depends on how you define "play", "kiss", and "go to bed". "Put in the microwave", "punch", and "sleep in a coffin" are accurate substitutions.
Doortje 30
Don't deny it, I'm looking at the pictures right now. You can "substitute" all you want, but a picture says more than a 1000 words.
Sirin_fml 47
Oh shit, this is a double post LULZ! Swear to god it's annoying when that happens, even though it's just my own stupidity and forgetfulness in hitting the reply button. But anyway, why are you looking through my infos? Don't make me get a restraining order, dammit.
Sirin_fml 47
Well I suppose I'll just have to sacrifice Zebidee to appease the gods of war then.
Stupidpeopleanno 5
#46 Damnit. *Puts Master Balls back in pocket*
Zebidee 9
Oi! Since when do I get to be the one who is sacrificed?! It's not like there aren't enough virgins on this site...
paganboy666 0
" console" like the wii console bro read in between the lines
dreadbeat69 12
That's a ******* hilarious comment.
yorik_brown 0
I choose to believe she came over to kick you while you were down. This girl sounds epic.
Denzel0 0
Lool FML needs a like button.
Whoadee 0
dude master those green shells the when she thinks she's in the lead Blam! blue shell bitch.