Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mario Kart, she decided to leave. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML
Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I beat her once again in a trivia game. She said that I was cheating, and if I was cheating on the game, I was definitely cheating on her as well. FML
Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML
Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML
Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, my husband and son ganged up on me in a game of Mario Kart. I threw the game down and stormed off. The last thing I saw was them high-fiving and yelling "RAGE QUIT" and laughing hysterically. They will both suffer for this. FML
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Top comments
Stepherrss 0
& This is a FML why? Were you expecting your EX to stay the night and **** your brains out? Grow up, she came over as a friend, to help out, not to screw you to make you feel better.
PhillyFox 0
And then you realized there's a reason she's your ex.
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Comments (56)
TheLetterZero 7
Funny. My cousin (female) beats me at Mario Kart every time. Are girls naturally better at Mario Kart than guys? I'm getting suspicious...
cH1N1chunga 5
it could be worse she could have beaten u in black ops with 0-7500
Stupidpeopleanno 5
Boyfriend: *loses for the 100th straight time* Girlfriend: I think I've kicked your ass enough. It's time i hit the ol' dusty trail. *puts hat on and leaves*
Stupidpeopleanno 5
Getting girls is like catching Pokemon! If you don't weaken that pokemon enough you'll have a harder time catching it! Even though you could just use your Master Ball and catch it without doubt. Use your Master Ball to win her back!
kateindeed 5
I swear, if one more guy throws his master ball at me, I'm calling the cops.
Illyssa_fml 4
Hahaha! Is that why you broke up with her? Cuz she beat you at Mario Cart all the time? hahaha
Illyssa_fml 4
Kart*
tiredofthis54 0
haha mariokart
Zebidee 9
For some reason, I pictured Sirin as the ex-girlfriend in this story...
Sirin_fml 47
To be fair, I'd be beating him over the head with the games console instead.