Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said, "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
Today, I overheard my brother telling my son and his male cousins, who all think he's a cool uncle, that, "Only women can sneeze and fart at the same time." I decided to intervene, and gave him a scolding of a lifetime in front of them. Let's just say, I had to sneeze while in the middle of it. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
Today, in the middle of asking my girlfriend to marry me, I sneezed so hard that I farted. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
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Top comments
lmaoatall 6
and you say, nooo, open your ears! it was a snart.
cptmorgan15 2
Haha, funny, but a dick move on his part.
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Comments (121)
peachdoll 3
Farting is good hahaha :P
Easyaccess 0
hahaha... perfect timing.
TraceCase_ 19
That'll teach you to cover your butt when you sneeze.
sweet_blue 3
Lmfao
mythicallove101 0
lmaoo xD
emily14swim 0
hahaha how embarasing. you could lie and hope no one else heard
jess6blondie9 3
It happens. Everyone farts. Laugh it off, they'll only remember that for the rest of their lives. No worries.
NDNitro 2
claim it!
underpaid011 0
better than a sneeze-queef-fart. could have been worse!
docscientist 10
Querteeze? qwertys?
jcrob 0
just be grateful you didnt follow through! pressure of a sneeze and needing the toilet... could have been messy!!!
kingtz 6
A "shnart", you mean?
sweet_blue 3
oh my god I did the same thing in junior high lmao and my boyfriend was sitting right behind me
alipod 11
he became ur ex then?