Today, I decided to call the number a cute guy had scribbled onto a napkin and given to me. I was greeted by, "Hello, this is Dr. Allen's office." Surprised, because I didn't remember his name being anything close to Allen, I asked who Dr. Allen was. She's a psychologist. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I answered a call I thought was from my friend and opened with, “What do you want, fuck face?” It was actually my dentist confirming my appointment. There was a long pause before she politely repeated my name to ensure they had the right patient. FML
Today, I spoke to my crush for the first time, and after a while he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the first piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, "You might need this." It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML
Today, I got a text from an unknown number that said, "Are you free tonight?" Thinking it was a friend messing around, I responded with, "Only if you're buying booze and dinner." The reply a few minutes later was, "This is Dr. Peters, your dentist. You missed your appointment today. You need to reschedule." FML
Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said, "It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML
Today, I met an important figure in my line of work who also happens to know my dad, Alan. Upon meeting said person, I let my social anxiety get the best of me and I greeted him by saying, "Hi! I'm your Alan!" FML
Today, I met a really cute guy at work. He asked for my number, and I wrote it down on a piece of paper. After looking at the paper, he crumpled it up, yelled "Do you think I'm stupid? I know the rejection hotline when I see it", and walked away. It was my real phone number. FML
Today, a cute guy came up to me and asked for my phone number. I was super excited and began to write it down when he said, "It doesn't have to be your real number, I'm not gonna call anyway." I still gave him my real number. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, while working as a cashier, a really cute guy came up and said, "Hi Morgan". I freaked out and asked him how he knew my name. He then replied, "You have a name tag". FML
Today, I realized that I accidentally said my phone number wrong when I was giving it to a really smart, cute guy with all the same interests as me that I met at a bar last night. I'd had a few drinks and had gotten the middle three digits mixed up. FML
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Top comments
heresIsaac 4
if he knew a PHSYCHOLOGISTS number off the top of his head that tells you sumthin
michaelmca65 0
:) nice
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Comments (123)
michaelmca65 0
:) nice
phantom956 2
omg it was really a woman the whole time
bamditzki 0
5th!
kruzito 0
piggyback comment
HackerD00d 0
******* sux!!
Jonkbaby 23
you should talk to her and ask what it means
mfmylifesrsly 30
I'm guessing bipolar?
MhP_fml 0
random guy win
Jonkbaby 23
in soviet Russia, pschologist call you!
PimpdaddyCJT 13
maybe it's a hint
KiddNYC1O 22
needs more info. did you know the guy? doesn't seem like it. so ydi for just dialing any "cute guy" you see.
samgar 0
OP fyl
comepoopwithme 0
it's funny because the guy at the resterant pulled a prank on you by giving you the number of a local doctors office because he never liked you! or he was really a girl!
legonut4 0
it's funny because he thinks your crazy and sent you to get fixed
MyNameIsInvictus 0
you just got served by a tranny
bballchamp43 0
I think that the guy was giving her a hint, although it is strange that he knew a psychologist's number off the top o his head
coribabybaby 0
more like f his life for seeing a psych enough to have the number memorized..
skroal 7
YDI for deciding to call the number a cute guy had scribbled onto a napkin and given to you. You were greeted by, "Hello, this is Dr. Allen's office." Surprised, because you didn't remember his name being anything close to Allen, you asked who Dr. Allen was. She's a psychologist.
PizzaGuy11 0
58 - stop... just stop
bamditzki 0
60 stop hating on the guy.. does a comment bothers u? just skip it, plus i bet he doesnt understand ur " foreign" languages, LOL
brainface62 0
haha I love family guy nice :)
bamditzki 0
ydi for calling a doctor, no offense to ppl that like doctors
anthaz_fml 0
hmmmmmmmmmm
slushpup9696 12
60- hypocrite much? You told 58 to not worry about skroal's stupid comment, and you're worrying about 58's comment.
BuckTeeth_12 0
skroal does that shit for the attention and doesnt relize tht everybody hates him for it
pingpongpenguin 3
hahah everybody loves legonut and hates skrol
imaginaryvoice 18
How did he just happen to have the number of a psychologist?
spaceboyftw 0
maybe it's his mom
kgraham21 0
It's similar to memorizing the Rejection Hotline number....
nmsm 1
legonut is amazing, but skroal just rewrites the FML. I don't need to reread it, but if it's confusing, legonut saves the day!
number0 8
YDI for trusting a man and his napkin.
erikjh1234 0
maybe his mom is a psychologist, works at home, dude doesn't have a cell so he gives you his house #??? just sayin...might not be all that bad
Drakorex 10
78 that's what I was thinking
isaiaha11 2
haha major burn
LMFAOwned 9
35, it's funny because you tried to make a joke but it wasn't funny because you misspelled "you're"
epr 0
He was obviously hinting that she needed some sort of help. it is weird how how he called out the doctors number so quick, and how OP mixed the pycs voice for a guy.
spanelli 16
74- That's the exact reason why he does it. Duhh. OP- YDI, for trying to call a person who obviously has serious problems if they memorized the number. :)
allen20 0
that would be me you called! :D
kelzen 0
58 is lameeee
its_callie_bitch 0
hmm how'd he knw the number?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Geez, people, use your brains! -__- He didn't HAVE to know the number. It would take a smartphone and about 30 seconds to find and copy a shrink's phone number. That's easily done while OP is in the restroom or getting another drink, or easily passed off as texting in her presence. OP: If you asked for the number and missed his not-into-you vibes, YDI. If he approached you and gave it to you voluntarily, FYL. That's just cruel.
veggiemeatball 0
44 That's what I thought... someone's got some problems of his own.
veggiemeatball 0
124 Oh, I get it... cursed smartphones.
jameschis 0
yes first
michaelmca65 0
you failed
locklock2 0
op ydi for leaving the kitchen
xxxbooxxx 16
wow :/
cockoftherock 0
it's funny because you thought it was a guy but it was a girl.
daizttgg 9
Omg vocaloid!!!!!!!
GermanBoy0_0 0
Ouch what a dick
Theatregeek788 0
ikr!? OP, fyl but maybe tht guy has the same psychologist?
buttFock 0
please that OP was probably creeping the hell out of him, i would do that same, oh wait I HAVE!!!
5t3ff1k4h 47
YDI for being crazy.
number0 8
He could have accidently wrote the wrong number, you insensitive prick. Don't say "YDI" for the dumbest reasons...
LLLP 0
What?
urfukinstupid 0
work number???
vanessaaaa_fml 0
yeahh I doubt that...
brookeec 0
Maybe he works there? Or.. you're crazy.
rogueangel9 4
I'm using that!
bestdayever023 0
Haha, that made me laugh(: but really, I'm sorry I feel bad for you..a little.
heart_aussie_fml 20
Ahah. That sucks. He could just have told you he wasn't interested !