Today, I awoke to my cat with micro pellets all over him. He'd destroyed a pillow containing them, and now there are thousands of these pellets throughout the entire house. My vacuum is broken. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
Today, I awoke to find a giant turd on my carpet, cat hair everywhere in my room, and a big hole in my window screen. I don't own a cat. FML
Today, I realized I'm missing my diamond earrings. After ripping apart the vacuum bag and exhausting all other options I'm pretty sure my new cat ate them. I'm going to go sift through several days worth of cat shit now. FML
Today, I bought a new beanbag chair. My cat thought it was a great scratcher and I now have thousands of tiny plastic balls around the house. He decided those looked yummy, and now the scent of vomit and plastic is awful. FML
Today, I got home after a spending a week recovery from surgery. My neighbour had been feeding my cat whilst I was away. Exhausted, I went straight to my bedroom where I soon discovered that my cat had shat on my pillows, duvet, and pyjamas. FML
Today, I came home from holiday, only to find my house full of small decomposing animals, courtesy of my cat. FML
Today, I got into bed as my cat crept under it. I then heard him gagging, so I instantly got back up to get him out, because my floor is carpeted. As I pulled him into the hall, he flew upwards, made a horrific "Blagh!" sound, projectile vomited everywhere, then hit the wall and ran. FML
Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML
Today, I was woken up at 5:15 AM to the lovely sounds of my cat barfing in three different places on my bedroom carpet. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
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Top comments
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
Bummer. Maybe this means you should buy a new vacuum.
iAmScrubs 19
Make a ball pit with the pellets. Who doesn't love ball pits? I still go to the McDonald's play pen just for the ball pit.
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Comments (152)
mattdm91 0
Ever heard of a broom? Get going, pussy!
THE_A_TEEN 28
Maybe the broom is inside op's pussy and can't get it out. The op want's its pussy to be pleased
mattdm91 0
That's a deep pussy then wouldn't want to go in there bears can be hibernating and shit in there
LedZeppelin1109 0
Honestly? I don't think this comment is fml material...
Livzii 5
you need to buy a new vacuum anyway
hobosapien081 10
grab your cat by its tail and swing it against a wall, that'll teach it a lesson 3:)
rexgar2000 10
pardon my lack of knowledge but what are micro pellets?
kristidgranger 3
I always hated cats! Useless animals! Digs are better! Although I can't lie a dog may have done the same thing! Get a $30 vacuum at Wal-mart or something!
Feklfekl2222 32
What's a dig??? All I know is cats are better than dogs. Don't know about digs
THE_A_TEEN 28
He's talking about digletts. Those bastards can **** up your house with earthquake. Don't know why he hates cat's or switch to the dog topic
steeledwolf 8
117 You sneaky...clever... Clever basterd
fledrocknrolla 0
People survived with just brooms
RLove1997 0
MY SOBAKOWA PILLOW!!!
RaquelRox2299 0
fix it
Cheesecakee 11
That sucks..