Today, I awoke to my cat with micro pellets all over him. He'd destroyed a pillow containing them, and now there are thousands of these pellets throughout the entire house. My vacuum is broken. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
Today, I awoke to find a giant turd on my carpet, cat hair everywhere in my room, and a big hole in my window screen. I don't own a cat. FML
Today, I realized I'm missing my diamond earrings. After ripping apart the vacuum bag and exhausting all other options I'm pretty sure my new cat ate them. I'm going to go sift through several days worth of cat shit now. FML
Today, I bought a new beanbag chair. My cat thought it was a great scratcher and I now have thousands of tiny plastic balls around the house. He decided those looked yummy, and now the scent of vomit and plastic is awful. FML
Today, I got home after a spending a week recovery from surgery. My neighbour had been feeding my cat whilst I was away. Exhausted, I went straight to my bedroom where I soon discovered that my cat had shat on my pillows, duvet, and pyjamas. FML
Today, I came home from holiday, only to find my house full of small decomposing animals, courtesy of my cat. FML
Today, I got into bed as my cat crept under it. I then heard him gagging, so I instantly got back up to get him out, because my floor is carpeted. As I pulled him into the hall, he flew upwards, made a horrific "Blagh!" sound, projectile vomited everywhere, then hit the wall and ran. FML
Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML
Today, I was woken up at 5:15 AM to the lovely sounds of my cat barfing in three different places on my bedroom carpet. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
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Top comments
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
Bummer. Maybe this means you should buy a new vacuum.
iAmScrubs 19
Make a ball pit with the pellets. Who doesn't love ball pits? I still go to the McDonald's play pen just for the ball pit.
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Comments (152)
loserman67 36
Time to: A: Buy a new vacuum B: See how well your cat fits in the microwave C: Stop living in the 70's and get rid of the bean-bag furniture
Stonedmanalex 0
Because everyone needs to be the same and stick with the latest trends as such to keep a horrible socitety running
lindsey1023420 5
Can't they just use a broom?
mgsoloist 14
Not if they have carpets..
Anubyte 0
Ouch!
TwoFootedMan 0
Just rub the cat on the carpet and walk it around them and they'll stick
mgsoloist 14
With containing them...
iknowimawesome 13
I know. That really bothered me.
aliadnan708 6
Time to go get a new a Vacuum
Doortje 30
Buy a new one, or ask your neighbour if you can borrow theirs.
Meemin 5
Oh my gosh, that really sucks. Maybe you could borrow a friends vacuum?
perdix 31
That doesn't suck.
FMLattes 0
In the literal sense!!!
Doortje 30
Yeah, no kidding #45.
iomnomnomux3 0
at least your cat had fun :)