Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, and listening to loud music when she suddenly looked worried and asked if I heard something. I said no and continued. Moments later, three firemen opened the bedroom door and told us to get dressed and go outside because the building was on fire. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML
Today, my roommate walked in on me going down on my girlfriend in our shared living area. She was embarrassed for about 20 seconds, then pushed my head back down and told me to keep going until he comes back. FML
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Top comments
_DudeGuy_ 16
Your roommates has a badass sense of humor.
RedPillSucks 33
You weren't able to "rise" up?
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Comments (103)
jonha21 11
Hahaha no "Performance"
olpally 33
I think that would motivate me to finish the job! Lol.
purple_pentapus 6
I'm that kind of roomate XD
arre2006 19
That's pretty damn hilarious
onorexveritas 24
that is epic xD
buckdharma 38
Fart on his pillow. That will put a stye on the eye of the tiger.
LookAttMyyLifee 12
Purrrr , meow
Cazz91 21
"She's my cherry pie, cool drink of water succh a sweet surprise! Tastes so good make a grown man cry, sweet cherry pie...oh yea! She's my cherry pie, put a smile on your face ten miles wide! Looks so good bring a tear to your eye, sweet cherry pie!" I don't know OP, Eye of the Tiger seems a lot more less awkward to get trolled with. You could have had Warrant blaring instead.
TheDrifter 24
Yeah, cherry pie is foreplay music, it would have set them back at least 15 minutes.
Insanityconfined 21
Or even Pour Some Sugar on Me.
xblaine 17
I would kinda mad but that is a great idea. Props to him!
cman024 4
that's just some background pump up music. if anything he did you a favor. XD