Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML
Today, I drove 9 hours and took Monday off of work to surprise my Mom and Dad for Easter. They weren't home so I called to tell them the surprise, rather than wait. They didn't answer as they were on a flight to Denver to surprise me for Easter since "I couldn't get off work." FML
Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said, "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother." FML
Today, my boyfriend came to visit from another state. My mom didn't want me to go to his hotel, but I did. When she asked about it, I lied to her and said I didn't go. She the showed me a picture of my car outside his hotel. FML
Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML
Today, I sneaked out of work early. I tripped over my own feet while walking up to my car. As I fell, I managed to hit the panic button on my car keys, setting off my car alarm while I lay flat on the ground in the parking lot. FML
Today, I was getting out of the shower and realized I’d forgotten to lock the bathroom lock. I heard someone coming towards the door and panicked. I hid behind the curtain and tried to stay completely still, but my dad walked in, saw me standing there like a statue, and just said, “Oh, erm, I’ll come back later.” FML
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Top comments
LuckyCharms_fml 0
Well it worked, he was surprised!
009yp 0
U can't do that to old ppl shame
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Comments (59)
littlemisslee 0
Yeah, you're no longer in the will.
derbz 0
Your poor dad But karma for lieing
titan90 0
Geez how old is your dad to be so scared that he has a heart attack or something of the sort?? Seriously how old are we talking here? You had to call 911? Idk if i believe this...I can see him being scared but soo scared that he fell over and you had to call 911 and now you are posting this on FML? cmon...seriously
T1MT1M 0
wtF has posting this on FML got to do with the legitimacy of his post? your a ******* imbecile. He probably lied about the "today" part and just posted it anyway.
penizulaface 0
why take it so seriously? so what if its fake? OMGTHEWHOLEWORLDSGONAGOTOSHITBECAUSESOMEBODYLIEDONTHEINTERNET D:
smashyy 0
Haha #36 That's funny. Like, seriously, who cares? It's interesting.
awesomeamandas 37
You don't have to be old to have a heart attack. A lot of young people who have bad hearts have heart attacks. It's not something only "old people" can have.
IrishDevil666 0
that was a messed up thing to do but just reading it made me lol sorry for that 2 hope you and your dad still get along.
kapay 0
This FML is greatly missing a lot of information. What happened? Turned out to be a robber? He hit you in the head for surprising him? He got a heart attack? What?
arienh4 0
Fail.
Darkon 0
This is why you up the life insurance policies before doing stuff of this sort.
rocker8877 0
Stop saying that you're first because NO ONE CARES!!!!!
Holybatman 16
I care! I think it's awesome if you can be first and show it. It's not nearly as annoying as "proceeded" or all the "not an FML" people
vooper 0
#7 is full of failure And FYL, haha. 'Jesus!'
xbarneystinsonx 0
Unlucky dude.