Today, some old friends came to visit me after I had my first baby a few weeks ago. When the last friend, who has always been rather self-centered, arrived, she immediately announced her own pregnancy and talked of nothing else for the rest of her stay. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realised that when I was pregnant I had loads of friends, because pregnancy is cute and awesome and empowering, until the baby actually arrived. Then so-called friends don’t want to visit anymore because babies are loud, sticky, poop everywhere, and get in the way of brunch and shopping. FML
Today, I bumped into an old school friend. I'd heard she was pregnant so the first thing I did was congratulate her. Not only was she not pregnant, but the reason she managed to get so fat was because of comfort eating due to her miscarriage last month. FML
Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML
Today, my sister refused to come to the hospital with the rest of my family to visit my new baby. Apparently, I’m an "attention hogging slutbag" because I "chose to go into labor" on her birthday. FML
Today, I had to go along with my mom to meet some of her old friends from high school. When they asked her about how her life was going, she said she was married, always traveling, no kids, and introduced me as the neighbor's kid she babysits. FML
Today, I excitedly told my best friends I was pregnant. Their responses were, "Ewww, I hate babies", "So we're not getting brunch anymore? That sucks" and "Do you need an abortion? I know a great clinic." Not one of them congratulated me. FML
Today, I've been in my old hometown visiting because my sister is having her baby. I scheduled the trip a full week after her due date, and still no baby. We tried everything to start her labor. I had to go back home, and as soon as my plane landed, I got a text saying she just gave birth. FML
Today, I’ve had it with my best friend. She is a very jealous individual, who is never happy for me. I told her I was going to be a grandma again to ANOTHER set of twins, this time paternal, and we are going to have 6 grandbabies now. She got an attitude, and said, “Well, isn’t that nice” and then insulted me. FML
Today, my sister-in-law had the nerve to hijack my baby shower to announce her pregnancy. It's all the more infuriating because we later found out that she's NOT pregnant, just a fucking attention whore. FML
Today, my sister-in-law went into premature labour, and we were asked to keep it quiet. My mother immediately called all her friends and relayed the whole situation in intimate detail. Yet she wonders why they don't spend time with her, and nobody tells her anything. FML
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Top comments
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Why didn’t you ask her to leave? You are allowed to ask annoying people to leave. Also: she’s not really your friend.
DLBL 23
She could not stand the spotlight being off her for one minute. I'd bet she's not even pregnant; just wanted attention.
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Comments (2)
DLBL 23
She could not stand the spotlight being off her for one minute. I'd bet she's not even pregnant; just wanted attention.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Why didn’t you ask her to leave? You are allowed to ask annoying people to leave. Also: she’s not really your friend.