Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML
Today, I drove 9 hours and took Monday off of work to surprise my Mom and Dad for Easter. They weren't home so I called to tell them the surprise, rather than wait. They didn't answer as they were on a flight to Denver to surprise me for Easter since "I couldn't get off work." FML
Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said, "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother." FML
Today, my boyfriend came to visit from another state. My mom didn't want me to go to his hotel, but I did. When she asked about it, I lied to her and said I didn't go. She the showed me a picture of my car outside his hotel. FML
Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML
Today, I sneaked out of work early. I tripped over my own feet while walking up to my car. As I fell, I managed to hit the panic button on my car keys, setting off my car alarm while I lay flat on the ground in the parking lot. FML
Today, I was getting out of the shower and realized I’d forgotten to lock the bathroom lock. I heard someone coming towards the door and panicked. I hid behind the curtain and tried to stay completely still, but my dad walked in, saw me standing there like a statue, and just said, “Oh, erm, I’ll come back later.” FML
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Top comments
LuckyCharms_fml 0
Well it worked, he was surprised!
009yp 0
U can't do that to old ppl shame
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Comments (59)
nappacabbage 0
Everyone is saying that there was somthing wrong with the dad, but what if his dad punched him or something? Karate chop!!
RandomFool 5
Because The OP's father having a heart attack or going into shock or something would be more probable than him/her calling 911 for getting punched in the face.
coopcas 0
I thought it was a robber or something.
maggiewalters 17
you people have got to finish your stories!!!
raybury 2
YDI. He didn't.
fallenarchangel 0
#7 must be on pot and stfu #1 no one gives a dam
dead14eternity 0
Actually you can appear to be first when you're not since the comments page doesn't automatically refresh. He was one of the first to see the new FML but not the first. Still saying "first" is immature.
aback 5
Nobody likes surprises.
Nightfallz 0
you had to call 911 why? was it one of those jackass pranks they say don't try at home? did you dad pee himself. did you pee yourself?
4ube_fml 6
YDI for telling him you couldn't make it and come anyway
NoMercy_fml 0
Heart Attacks: Punishing people for doing retarded things since the begining of mankind. YDI
saailaway 0
u ppl are ******* stupid, she called 911 becuase he probably got a heart attack or somthing because she scared him...