Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML
Today, I drove 9 hours and took Monday off of work to surprise my Mom and Dad for Easter. They weren't home so I called to tell them the surprise, rather than wait. They didn't answer as they were on a flight to Denver to surprise me for Easter since "I couldn't get off work." FML
Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said, "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother." FML
Today, my boyfriend came to visit from another state. My mom didn't want me to go to his hotel, but I did. When she asked about it, I lied to her and said I didn't go. She the showed me a picture of my car outside his hotel. FML
Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML
Today, I sneaked out of work early. I tripped over my own feet while walking up to my car. As I fell, I managed to hit the panic button on my car keys, setting off my car alarm while I lay flat on the ground in the parking lot. FML
Today, I was getting out of the shower and realized I’d forgotten to lock the bathroom lock. I heard someone coming towards the door and panicked. I hid behind the curtain and tried to stay completely still, but my dad walked in, saw me standing there like a statue, and just said, “Oh, erm, I’ll come back later.” FML
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Top comments
LuckyCharms_fml 0
Well it worked, he was surprised!
009yp 0
U can't do that to old ppl shame
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Comments (59)
pathetictwin 0
what? say why you called 911 stupid.
arques 0
Well it's not really your fault but you probably shouldn't scare older people like that.
lisafannypack 0
i don't really understand why it's necessary to "surprise" him like that wouldn't he be just as happy if you let him know you were coming?
kellster 2
Seriously. Some jokes are funny, others are just cruel and manipulative. He must have been so disappointed when you said you weren't coming for Father's Day, of all days, and then his reward is to have someone startle him badly enough to warrant a 9-11 call? That's kind of the opposite of a good surprise. A little thinking through this one might have helped.
Junkson 0
First
STN_fml 0
lol....talk about surprise!
SpliffyMcBlunt 0
first!
Broc 0
You realize you could have surprised him by simply being in the house when he got there, rather than jumping out from behind the couch like a ******* child.
ducklamp 0
you're lucky you didn't get shot.
RandomFool 5
You kind of deserve it for jumping out from behind a couch instead of just opening the door or something. It's Father's Day, not a one person surprise party.