Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML
Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I blacked out at work, on my lunch break outside in the rain, and woke up on the ground wet a minute or two later to everyone freaking out, all because I chugged my drink too fast. FML
Today, I went to take a drink from my water bottle while sitting in a quiet office with 5 coworkers. I squeezed too hard, sending a jet of water straight into my nose. My coworkers now think I need a sippy cup. FML
Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML
Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was OK. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML
Today, my friend dared me to break a liquor bottle on my head. I slammed it into my head so hard I got dizzy, then did it a SECOND time and knocked myself out so hard that I pissed and shat myself. My head hurts really badly. FML
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Top comments
satomi_ishida 0
Creep, he didn't even help you? Shove some chili sauce down his throat and see if he revives from that. -_-
MassEffectNerd 0
weirder things have happend
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Comments (100)
kingdomhearts3 0
Funniest part of this FML is that the OP refers to it as drowning :)
coyote8 4
ROFLMAO!!!
MaxHodgkins 1
What a dick! He obviously didn't understand the severity of what happened.
akvandervort 21
Pretty sure you can't drown from choking on water; you just choke. Dummy.
Abbeygale 8
I know how you feel my friend made me laugh while drinking coke I inhaled it instantly started coughing and choking my friend started laughing.... Her laugh is infectious, as soon as I started laughing I started throwing up I couldn't stop because she was making me laugh so much I threw up about 5 times in front of her needless to say she made me clean it up.
rummzy 6
Not rape surprise sex XD
spearmintllama 6
You're life sucks but it could always be worse. Friends help you up when you fall down. Best friends laugh first.
AssassinBug 15
1: Buy a Bhut Jolokia. 2: Sneak some in his food (small amount, a legal amount). 3: Record it 4: ??? 5: Profit!
sophiehan 8
I don't understand why he deserved it...