Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML
Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I blacked out at work, on my lunch break outside in the rain, and woke up on the ground wet a minute or two later to everyone freaking out, all because I chugged my drink too fast. FML
Today, I went to take a drink from my water bottle while sitting in a quiet office with 5 coworkers. I squeezed too hard, sending a jet of water straight into my nose. My coworkers now think I need a sippy cup. FML
Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML
Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was OK. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML
Today, my friend dared me to break a liquor bottle on my head. I slammed it into my head so hard I got dizzy, then did it a SECOND time and knocked myself out so hard that I pissed and shat myself. My head hurts really badly. FML
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Top comments
satomi_ishida 0
Creep, he didn't even help you? Shove some chili sauce down his throat and see if he revives from that. -_-
MassEffectNerd 0
weirder things have happend
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Comments (100)
bilboatthehpac 0
This is not a FML as you could have drowned or could be living in a country that doesn't have bottled water or you could have no friends to scare you. Life could be much worse. Get over it.
bilboatthehpac 0
Why is my comment moderated?
Sirin_fml 47
"Please don't post any comments which question the validity of an FML (accusing the original poster of submitting a fake story, or arguing that an anecdote is "not FML worthy" or even "not an FML" based solely on your own personal intuition."
bilboatthehpac 0
Lame. Perhaps if I act like a 12 year old and say something like "YDI for being an idiot", you'll allow that to be posted? Free speech my ass. ******* Nazis. What gives you the right to dictate how I feel about a FML? Is this person's life really ****** because their friend scared them into almost choking on a bottle of water? No. It isn't. Perhaps you should look up what "**** My Life" really means.
MegaTroller_fml 5
Regardless, it's still possible.
Legends_brady 0
it only take a teaspoon of water in your lungs to drown
danishay 4
I would have ROTFLed too
Stupidpeopleanno 5
Ayo son! We be scrappin if dat shit happenz to me
m00sh 0
true dat -_-
strawberrydreams 18
That was mean. FYL for having a friend who didn't help you. :(
hideyoself 4
who are you? aquaman?
ZTD09 2
How'd you find out!? *runs*
GoodLookingGeese 10
rethink the quality of your friends..
MassEffectNerd 0
never said how long the op was unconscious.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
5 seconds is all I need...