Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML
Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I blacked out at work, on my lunch break outside in the rain, and woke up on the ground wet a minute or two later to everyone freaking out, all because I chugged my drink too fast. FML
Today, I went to take a drink from my water bottle while sitting in a quiet office with 5 coworkers. I squeezed too hard, sending a jet of water straight into my nose. My coworkers now think I need a sippy cup. FML
Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML
Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was OK. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML
Today, my friend dared me to break a liquor bottle on my head. I slammed it into my head so hard I got dizzy, then did it a SECOND time and knocked myself out so hard that I pissed and shat myself. My head hurts really badly. FML
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Top comments
satomi_ishida 0
Creep, he didn't even help you? Shove some chili sauce down his throat and see if he revives from that. -_-
MassEffectNerd 0
weirder things have happend
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Comments (100)
marceil 0
i had a cousin like him lol .
CaptainJ1000 1
You left out the part where u awoke with your exposed ass in the prone position. No wonder he was laughing...
nathan5 0
It's not rape if you shout surprise!
thisisLAUREN 0
passed out from lack of air? you do know that takes a couple of minutes right?
42billybob 5
Depends on how much air you had before you got cut off. You can also pass out from the shock. Even so, it should be long enough for this "friend" to realize what was going on (unless they were ACTUALLY retarded or neurotic to some extent... which I think is the case).
cloudy01 0
I'm sensing some negative energy here
LuckyLogic 0
lmfao.
katy513 0
I have a friend who comes up and scares the shit out of me at least 10 times a day. it's nothing to FML over
brainstew0 0
It's nothing till you start choking/coughing from your own saliva..
shermac 0
LMFAO
april1010 0
hahahahhahaaa