Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML
Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML
Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML
Today, my boss told me she had a nightmare where her life depended on me, and I let her die. Now I'm ridiculously paranoid that I'm going to get fired at any second. FML
Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML
Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML
Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. Apparently the medicines don't work on me. I woke up in the middle of the surgery and felt EVERYTHING. One of the nurses asked if I was okay, and the doctor just kept saying "Don't worry she's just dreaming", while tears were pouring down my face. FML
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML
Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML
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Top comments
lonkite101 14
Flash her one of those things from Men In Black.
Spongii101 12
Surgery must be pretty stressful. There's a lot of pressure involved. If anyone should be allowed to swear at work, it should be a surgeon.
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Comments (328)
imlovedrunkjw 0
Lol a surgeon has an fml imagine one of ur patients commenting on ur fml
bunniex1 11
Well as long as u didn't try to **** her I think she will be okay
unknown_user5566 27
Um, unnecessary?
MitchellK 3
Hypnosis didn't work Turk?
yousodi 10
Kelso's gonna be pissed lol
bizarre_ftw 22
The ****?! She could have PTSD from remembering being operated on and you're worried she'll write an unflattering letter to your boss about your word choice?!!
firefighterjohn 9
she ain't gonna remember a thing. but seems to me your not a calm surgeon and will panic if shit hits the fan
jrpjlr8993 1
It is very possible that she could remember, it's actually A common thing for some to remember bits and pieces of surgery. I hope for both of your sakes that she doesn't remember.
gashytashy 5
Imagine waking up while ur getting cut up... there are reasons why if she remembers your ass is on the line...
lovebeecharmer 6
Dude I totally know what you mean. Hope you are still alive.
usernames200 0
This was on Grey's Anatomy..
cuddlebunny3548 11
Tell her it was aaaalll a dream.