Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML
Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML
Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML
Today, my boss told me she had a nightmare where her life depended on me, and I let her die. Now I'm ridiculously paranoid that I'm going to get fired at any second. FML
Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML
Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML
Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. Apparently the medicines don't work on me. I woke up in the middle of the surgery and felt EVERYTHING. One of the nurses asked if I was okay, and the doctor just kept saying "Don't worry she's just dreaming", while tears were pouring down my face. FML
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML
Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML
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Top comments
lonkite101 14
Flash her one of those things from Men In Black.
Spongii101 12
Surgery must be pretty stressful. There's a lot of pressure involved. If anyone should be allowed to swear at work, it should be a surgeon.
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Comments (328)
smump 0
Lol that must have been awkward!
mintyfresca 2
I agree, your grammar sucks, too.
estes816 9
[ zE
ChickInGreenVans 12
Okay first things first.. Do you even have a medical qualification?? Let alone a surgeon qualification?? Just asking..
fightingkittens 39
What? Why the hell do you think he wouldn't be qualified? * braces for a round of mindbogglingly stupid drivel coming from a ******** who tries to sound educated *
madilynn 0
Well your in trouble now for posting this on FML ?
tanyab24 0
if ur a surgeon....why r u posting about ur work. I know it's pretty anonymous but who'd want u to operate on them now?
justmyluck3 0
Omg I hope u get a law suit do u k ow how horrible that is!!! From someone who has surgery n felt the after pain.. I couldn't imaging waking up in the middle of it
fightingkittens 39
OH MY GOD. Why is everyone saying this is OP's fault? It isn't. It's no one's fault if a patient wakes up during surgery unless there was a massive oversight, which is less common than the anesthesia not working like it's supposed to. Please people, get educated before you comment on stuff like this.
white16sox 19
STOP USING TEXT LANGUAGE! It's in the commenting policy.
yuggi1 11
Cursing can be a way to alleviate stress. If he's a good surgeon, I don't see why he should be reprimanded. I'd care more about the quality of his handiwork than what comes out of his mouth. I feel terribly sorry for the girl. Perhaps it was the anesthesiologist's fault... or perhaps it was that the girl was tolerant against anesthesia. The world may never know. :P
myusername23 17
DocBastard was that you
melodywarner17 0
Hopefully she doesn't remember waking up in the middle of a surgery. That would be incredibly traumatizing.