Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML
Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML
Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML
Today, my boss told me she had a nightmare where her life depended on me, and I let her die. Now I'm ridiculously paranoid that I'm going to get fired at any second. FML
Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML
Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML
Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. Apparently the medicines don't work on me. I woke up in the middle of the surgery and felt EVERYTHING. One of the nurses asked if I was okay, and the doctor just kept saying "Don't worry she's just dreaming", while tears were pouring down my face. FML
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML
Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML
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Top comments
lonkite101 14
Flash her one of those things from Men In Black.
Spongii101 12
Surgery must be pretty stressful. There's a lot of pressure involved. If anyone should be allowed to swear at work, it should be a surgeon.
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Comments (328)
daytoday21 10
Wow, a little girl woke up during surgery and you're worried about your own ass? Jeez, I hope I'm never in the hands of someone like you.
Shade1982 21
That happens all the time, it's not that big a deal...
david1029 3
Lol!! This is hilarious.
taytayforreals 2
That happened to me when I was 9 in surgery. The dr claimed it was my fault for my body "fighting the medicine".
deluxe314 6
I can definitely tell u she won't remember. I had knee surgery last month and I hav a 4 hour memory gap from tht day
Sadistic_Siren 6
As someone who regularly comes out of anesthesia early for almost every surgery I've had, I can say with confidence she probably isn't going to even be aware that she woke up, let alone that there was someone swearing around her lol
krisseyDJ 20
Curmudgeon.. That's a new one for me
writerchic85 26
I would be more concerned that the girl would remember WAKING UP during SURGERY then the swearing. That sounds like a horrific memory!
CanadiAnM8 24
Mhm
fantasyworld 39
I doubt she'll remember.