Today, my kids found out how to control my Google alarm clock with their phones. While I was gone, they set it to play screamo metal at max volume, then paused it. Sometime after midnight, as I was sleeping, they pressed play. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I set my phone alarm to play a calm piano song so I’d wake up peacefully. Instead, Bluetooth connected to the speaker in my roommate’s room and blasted my alarm at full volume at 6 a.m. for both of us. FML
Today, I was running late and tried to sneak out of the house without waking anyone up. My phone alarm, which I forgot was set on max volume, blasted a loud “WAKE UP!” at 7 AM right as I opened the front door. Everyone in the house was wide awake instantly. FML
Today, my dad reactivated a digital clock we had lying around, and accidentally set an alarm on it. For 1 a.m.. So guess who went hunting for that noise in the middle of night. And guess who banished the thing to the living room, then forgot about it, and slept on the sofa in said living room. Or tried to. FML
Today, my phone alarm didn't go off this morning. Furious, I spent ten minutes complaining about technology before realizing I'd carefully set the alarm for 7:00 PM instead of 7:00 AM. The technology was actually innocent for once. FML
Today, I was blaring the radio to drown out the sound of the kids in the apartment upstairs. They then started jumping in time with the music. FML
Today, my alarm clock consisted of my children stomping on my manhood while dumping Froot Loops on my head. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML
Today, I awoke to a series of almighty explosions in the middle of the night. Turns out I fell asleep with my AirPods in to a “Soothing rain” soundtrack, which had turned to “Storms and thunder” at some point. I pissed the bed. FML
Today, after learning that "phones are tracking you" and that "Google is spying on you" from some shady website, my son destroyed all our phones and computers. FML
Today, my Google Home decided the TV told it to play 'Despacito'. It didn't. Google then decided I wasn't yelling at it to turn it off. I was. FML
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Top comments
1known 34
No more phone for them. :)
mike3775 39
Sounds like some kids need to learn what it was like in the days before cellphones.
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Comments (4)
1known 34
No more phone for them. :)
mike3775 39
Sounds like some kids need to learn what it was like in the days before cellphones.
rotflqtms_ 21
Joke's on them. They just lost their phones... probably for life. 😹😂🤣
SM79 6
You should turn off their data plans and change the wifi password. They'll apologize real quick!