Today, the imperial fist of spring allergies knocked me flat on my ass. The time I was going to spend at the outdoor concert I paid $80 for was instead spent in my car, driving back home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, like many other days before, my allergies decided, "screw you, you're dealing with me year round, no allergy medicine will keep me away, and you're going to break out in sneezing fits at the worst possible moments, which includes while you're driving on the highway." Shocking that I haven't been in a wreck yet, but still… FML
Today, I found out about allergies suddenly getting worse out of nowhere when it happened to mine. I can hardly step outside without feeling like hell when I get back home, which was never the case before, and I'm going through allergy medicine like a drug addict (almost). FML
Today, after saving up my money for weeks, I went to see my favorite artist in concert with my friends. Two songs in, I passed out, hit my head, and had to have someone drive me home. FML
Today, seasonal allergies are whooping my ass again. The last time this happened was… only two weeks ago. Even more unfortunately, today also marks the day I discovered that while hot tea does help soothe my poor, inflamed throat, if I drink too much of it without a break, I throw up. FML
Today, due to the high pollen count and despite taking hay fever medicine, I passed out in the bathroom from not being able to breathe. My mother accused me of doing it on purpose to make her late for work. FML
Today, I went to a concert for the first time in 5 years. I got all dressed up and even ended up hanging out with the band. The night came to a screeching halt when I got a migraine and ended up in the ER vomiting non-stop. I was in the hospital all night. FML
Today, I made the horrible mistake of leaving my car windows cracked while at work. Not only is the exterior yellow due to the pollen, but so is the interior. I'm not allergic, but you can feel the pollen in the back of your throat. FML
Today, I took a big sniff of a flower in my garden. I spent the rest of the morning blowing little bugs out of my nose. FML
Today, I sneezed while getting my keys from my pocket on the way to my front door, dropped them into a storm drain, and then had to explain to my landlord that my reason for needing the spare key was "seasonal allergies." FML
Today, while at a concert, I stepped into a restroom to use my nasal spray since my allergies were acting up. Apparently, someone thought that I had been snorting coke in the stall. I was escorted outside and had to wait for the cops until I could explain everything. I missed the headliner. FML
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Top comments
mpsteve137 15
That blows like a runny nose
The_Hitdude 12
OP, you should get the official DocBastard© Allergy Fighter. A pill, you ask? Ha, of course not! It's a Medical Warrior! Doc doesn't **** around with allergies.
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Comments (98)
mpsteve137 15
That blows like a runny nose
gojira666 7
God bless you
xoconnie 8
Wellllllll, could have been worse. For example, you could have been watching the knicks get killed by the heat.
cheaptrix 6
That snot a good way to start the day, and everyone nose it
eternalkaos 7
Oh you're clever!
NiveaKK 9
Good wordplay
hellbilly205 17
I would have still went and toughed it out for the concert.
alexup24 13
It sure did knock you out.
kshafer08 7
You sure it wasn't a mosh pit that knocked you on your ass and your just blaming allergies? Mosh pits get pretty intense...
ebonyirony 29
You're.
BFpwnsFTF 4
If you're going to be a grammar nazi then get your (not you're) facts straight.
penguin_princess 0
She means where he said your just blaming should be you're just blaming..
kshafer08 7
She's right. My bust.
DawnShadow_fml 5
Umm...take Claritin?
alexup24 13
Get claritin clear
laurbear12 3
I agree, but it's annoying how expensive allergy meds are!!
GoW_Chick 15
Next time use the force to stop those allergies... I have know idea why, but when I read this I pictured an epic star wars battle with music and everything. my nerdom knows no bounds!
josephhaynes1990 1
I honestly saw the same thing when I read about the imperial fist of seasonal allergies!
maxmex13 7
Who wouldn't when there is a phrase like "imperial fist" in a sentence?
rocker_chick105 31
48- good it wasn't just me... I thought I was the only one
citymayer 7
I thought of china. Ha.
mycatsarecrazy 5
I did too. How funny it was in my head :)
megansays 2
More of a crouching tiger hidden dragon or enter the fist reference.
jdb241 9
so apparently I'm the only one who thought of Warhammer 40K when i read "Imperial Fist"
redbluegreen 41
Noor, why did you delete the bit about MLP? Are you ashamed of your idols?
21jason 9
Should have watched from your car. If you had a girl with you, you could have killed 2 birds with one stone.
calivianya 29
Not if his nose was running like a faucet, he couldn't. It's oh so sexy to be sneezed on and dripped on.
daminantion 14
Wetter is better. Okay never mind that's a little much LOL
21jason 9
25 he could have been in the bottom so nothin would have dripped! Dumbass
Pinkfl0yd 9
So does this mean snot's not the new lube?
klorehore 24
It's that time of year OP, you should have known better and brought meds with you. It's not like we sometimes are lucky enough to just skip spring and it's nasty allergies, surely this cannot have been too surprising.
ocie14 9
You must have them really bad. You couldn't just take a Claritin and suck it up?
Ventoso 0
To heck with claritin take Alegra! It works better and faster!!
ocie14 9
What are you, the chief advertiser for Alegra?
plaguer 26
The people who usually say this don't have allergies, but it does sound bad.
EnterSandman_fml 20
I've tried Allegra and Claritin, and the Allegra didn't do shit for me. The Claritin works, yet one of my coworkers swears by Allegra because Claritin did nothing for them. It all depends on your system. Some people just resist certain meds.
choppedfisher 0
am I the only one that uses zertec?
lovesings 12
Zyrtec. I use it otherwise I get really sick using Claritin.
The_Hitdude 12
OP, you should get the official DocBastard© Allergy Fighter. A pill, you ask? Ha, of course not! It's a Medical Warrior! Doc doesn't **** around with allergies.
Awsumuzzie 12
You really need to work in advertising. I'm sold and I don't even have allergies.