Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview, I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a job interview wearing what I consider to be my lucky shirt. On my way to the interview, a bird dropped a load of bird poop on my shirt, and I didn't have time to change. During the interview, the interviewer kept staring at the poop stain on my shirt. FML
Today, I had a job interview. I stopped to take a pee in the lobby before I went in. I relaxed a bit too much at the urinal and accidentally farted. I chuckled about it like a 5 year-old for a few seconds. The guy who had been next to me at the urinal was the interviewer. FML
Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML
Today, I had an interview for a job I’ve dreamt about. I sat down in the lobby and spilled coffee on my crotch. I tried to dry it in the toilet, which made it look like I’d pissed myself. When I entered his office, the HR guy glanced down and said, “Long morning?” I panicked and replied, “No, just excited to be here.” FML
Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML
Today, I had a job interview; unfortunately for me, I was so nervous that all of a sudden I felt the need to take a huge dump. My bowels started growling out of protest. I tried to play it off as if it was due to me being hungry, but it sounded like I had a monster trapped in my guts. The interviewer raised an eyebrow in disbelief. FML
Today, right before a job interview, I spilled hot coffee all over my lap. The stain looked incredibly suspicious. During the interview, the recruiter kept glancing down awkwardly while I tried to maintain eye contact and confidence. FML
Today, I nailed a job interview and they hired me on the spot. The only problem was I was bursting at the seams and had to poop really bad. After destroying their bathroom and taking my leave, not an hour later I got a phone call saying they're "gonna go a different direction." FML
Today, I had a job interview. I didn't have any clothes suitable for the interview, so I went to the store early and bought some there. After the interview, I went to return the clothes, because they were so expensive. The hiring manager saw me. FML
Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML
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Top comments
losergirl 0
...lime green poop? Is she radioactive or something? Or does she just eat too many popsicles?
Curtieeeez 0
Lime green? What the hell are you feeding your kid?
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Comments (130)
hollister7304 0
Lime green poop?? Are you sure it wasn't snot?
CaPtAiN_Co 0
Gross... But did you get the job?
kdog_yeahcuh 0
why in god's name was the poop lime green?? well hopefully they didn't know what it was because if it was that color i'm sure thats not their first guess...
finnaaas 0
Good Lord. How would you not notice green shit on your shirt? And second, who the **** poops out green shit anyways?! lol Really? YDI.
kansas555 0
Newborns or babies that are just a few months old often have crazy colored poop. On top of that the poop can have very little odor. I am military and once went to work with spit up running down the back of my uniform. Sometimes you just don't feel it And for all you people that have never had a newborn/young baby; new mommies are frazzled and in a hurry ALWAYS...maybe she was running late and didn't have a chance to check the mirror.
Weabo_lotiso 0
WAY TO FAIL. i totally wanna know how the rest of the meeting went- i can just see everyone staring at that. hilarious. PLEASE GO ON OP! YOU HAVE MY INTEREST!
WooFWolf 0
God, I was eating when I read that.
jugglernaut 0
I got all you eaters beat. I was eating avocado salad when I read that. Oh, the imagery! OP, I hope everything worked out regardless. =) #59, please die.
AdamGD 0
Ok people, before commenting read other comments already posted. They help explain a lot. Like for instance, on this one read 23, 24, and 28 cause they know what they r talking about. Also, another take on the green poo, have you oeople never had diahrea? It sometimes is green, and it slides out so easily and is spread out so much a person might not feel it on their clothes. And although i have never had a baby, i have helped out in a lot of daycares and nurseries and you do get sorta used to that smell, especially if your are distracted
vag_fml 0
YOU LACK THE SENSE OF SMELL? sorry 92--you don't "get used" to the smell of lime green baby poop sliding down your arm. lies.