Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview, I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a job interview wearing what I consider to be my lucky shirt. On my way to the interview, a bird dropped a load of bird poop on my shirt, and I didn't have time to change. During the interview, the interviewer kept staring at the poop stain on my shirt. FML
Today, I had a job interview. I stopped to take a pee in the lobby before I went in. I relaxed a bit too much at the urinal and accidentally farted. I chuckled about it like a 5 year-old for a few seconds. The guy who had been next to me at the urinal was the interviewer. FML
Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML
Today, I had an interview for a job I’ve dreamt about. I sat down in the lobby and spilled coffee on my crotch. I tried to dry it in the toilet, which made it look like I’d pissed myself. When I entered his office, the HR guy glanced down and said, “Long morning?” I panicked and replied, “No, just excited to be here.” FML
Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML
Today, I had a job interview; unfortunately for me, I was so nervous that all of a sudden I felt the need to take a huge dump. My bowels started growling out of protest. I tried to play it off as if it was due to me being hungry, but it sounded like I had a monster trapped in my guts. The interviewer raised an eyebrow in disbelief. FML
Today, right before a job interview, I spilled hot coffee all over my lap. The stain looked incredibly suspicious. During the interview, the recruiter kept glancing down awkwardly while I tried to maintain eye contact and confidence. FML
Today, I nailed a job interview and they hired me on the spot. The only problem was I was bursting at the seams and had to poop really bad. After destroying their bathroom and taking my leave, not an hour later I got a phone call saying they're "gonna go a different direction." FML
Today, I had a job interview. I didn't have any clothes suitable for the interview, so I went to the store early and bought some there. After the interview, I went to return the clothes, because they were so expensive. The hiring manager saw me. FML
Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML
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Top comments
losergirl 0
...lime green poop? Is she radioactive or something? Or does she just eat too many popsicles?
Curtieeeez 0
Lime green? What the hell are you feeding your kid?
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Comments (130)
PositiveChillout 0
Frankly, I've never heard of lime green poop, but if it apparently does exist, wouldn't it smell well...like lime green poop??? That's just sick.
mxf06 0
you didnt smell it??
RazorbladeSmiles 0
Do you have a nasal problem or something? How could you not smell that?
mxf06 0
ok, #16... use full words... you sound like a preteen typing like that
gRkShOrTiEe4LiFe 0
babies r interesting.......boobie milk cud do that to kids.....its not rlly the 1st thing 1 wud probly to to sniff their shirt ...or is that a strange thing u ppl do .... moms also have a lot on their minds to be caring bout their kids rather than their selves...especially new mommies......still sucks 4 u....did u at least get the job? maybe the v.p will understand if he or she has kids...
mxf06 0
#59, you have issues
spillproof 0
I'm going with #51. Or a booger?
trapiadora 0
Wow that sucks. Hope you get the job though.
ShelbyG 0
Bahaha. I bet you fed your daughter some cake with green/blue icing ;D Or did she have silly putty? That ***** hard to get off clothes. Yah never know......
monicamischief 0
67, how do i have issues? babies are disgusting creatures. they shit all over the place, spit up their food often, they cry, and they smell even if you love babies (which i think is quite insane, but...) you have to admit that they are pretty damn gross.