Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview, I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a job interview wearing what I consider to be my lucky shirt. On my way to the interview, a bird dropped a load of bird poop on my shirt, and I didn't have time to change. During the interview, the interviewer kept staring at the poop stain on my shirt. FML
Today, I had a job interview. I stopped to take a pee in the lobby before I went in. I relaxed a bit too much at the urinal and accidentally farted. I chuckled about it like a 5 year-old for a few seconds. The guy who had been next to me at the urinal was the interviewer. FML
Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML
Today, I had an interview for a job I’ve dreamt about. I sat down in the lobby and spilled coffee on my crotch. I tried to dry it in the toilet, which made it look like I’d pissed myself. When I entered his office, the HR guy glanced down and said, “Long morning?” I panicked and replied, “No, just excited to be here.” FML
Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML
Today, I had a job interview; unfortunately for me, I was so nervous that all of a sudden I felt the need to take a huge dump. My bowels started growling out of protest. I tried to play it off as if it was due to me being hungry, but it sounded like I had a monster trapped in my guts. The interviewer raised an eyebrow in disbelief. FML
Today, right before a job interview, I spilled hot coffee all over my lap. The stain looked incredibly suspicious. During the interview, the recruiter kept glancing down awkwardly while I tried to maintain eye contact and confidence. FML
Today, I nailed a job interview and they hired me on the spot. The only problem was I was bursting at the seams and had to poop really bad. After destroying their bathroom and taking my leave, not an hour later I got a phone call saying they're "gonna go a different direction." FML
Today, I had a job interview. I didn't have any clothes suitable for the interview, so I went to the store early and bought some there. After the interview, I went to return the clothes, because they were so expensive. The hiring manager saw me. FML
Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML
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Top comments
losergirl 0
...lime green poop? Is she radioactive or something? Or does she just eat too many popsicles?
Curtieeeez 0
Lime green? What the hell are you feeding your kid?
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Comments (130)
bluedoll 1
93--it was on the side of her blouse, not her arm. There is a vast difference. If it was cotton, it may not have seeped through. Or OP could have had a second layer (like a cami) and thus didn't feel it.
Dante167 0
In my honest opinion, I think this is fake and lately alot of stories on here have just been made up. I think this story specifically is fake because: #1: Couldnt you smell if your baby just shit diarrhea on you? #2: Why would not check yourself before you went to the interview? #3: Couldnt you feel the babies diarrhea on you?
wbrycem 0
This fml comes courtesy of three of your five senses (or your apparent lack thereof, OP): smell, sight, and feel!
rmujerita 0
!CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU WRECK YOURSELF!
sfsdfsf 0
#59... you need to do something to make yourself happy.
isthisonetaken 0
17... funny that you call me and 13 retarded. i would think going into an interview, maybe you would check yourself completely. you are right when you arent doing anything particularly important, one usually just give a quick glance and goes on with their life. this is a job interview which could decide the means of which you live your life. i would hope someone would thoroughly make sure they were nicely dressed and cleaned up moments before going into the interview.
DoctorManhattan 0
I agree it's ******, but have you lost your sense of smell or something? Your kid ***** down your shirt, and you're presumably driving around in your car (an enclosed space) with it on you... I mean, I can smell dirty diapers from at least ten feet away -- I'd assume one would be able to smell it about a foot and a half below their nose.
Pepperolls 0
Guys, stop flaming the OP for not smelling it, seeing it, feeling it, Whatever! Baby poo is actually more greener than our usual brown poo. Here: a breast-fed baby's poo on a diaper http://hiphugs.com/images/clean-poo-a1.jpg It's lime green, see? And plus, it was on her SIDE. That's extremely vague, it could have been anywhere to the back & bottom of the blouse. Also she doesn't specify how much babyshit was on her blouse. There could have been an insignificant amount to a significant amount. We don't know, so we're not here to judge. And plus, being a mother she would have been holding the baby in her arms everyday, so her shirts probably now smell like baby, after a baby's been TOUCHING her shirt all day, no? And for you people who think everybody, especially women, needs to check their ENTIRE selves in the mirror right before the interview, or else they're insane or something, then you are quite narrow-minded. Not only do we NOT know specifically where the poop was, do you think toilet mirrors are actually large enough to SHOW the entire body? No!
alwaysalady 0
Ah, the lime green poop. You are also probably familier with the "I had carrots" poop and the ,"Mmm, blueberry!" poop. I am a personal believer that all baby clothes should come in food colors, to reduce staining. Sorry, OP.
Vintage_art 0
I give #102 a cookie cause you know what they noticed that the OP was vauge and understand that things happen especially with children. One thing I noticed though is that everyone has assumed that her daughter was an infant/toddler, BUT she never said what age her child was. For all we know her daughter was 6 or 7 and by law they still need to be looked after by someone. Also she never siad if it was human poop or animal poop. I have seen enough geese poop to know that you can accidently rub up against it and get it on you, and guess what it varies from dark to lime green. I will say that sucks. I hope it didn't screw up your interview.