Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview, I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a job interview wearing what I consider to be my lucky shirt. On my way to the interview, a bird dropped a load of bird poop on my shirt, and I didn't have time to change. During the interview, the interviewer kept staring at the poop stain on my shirt. FML
Today, I had a job interview. I stopped to take a pee in the lobby before I went in. I relaxed a bit too much at the urinal and accidentally farted. I chuckled about it like a 5 year-old for a few seconds. The guy who had been next to me at the urinal was the interviewer. FML
Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML
Today, I had an interview for a job I’ve dreamt about. I sat down in the lobby and spilled coffee on my crotch. I tried to dry it in the toilet, which made it look like I’d pissed myself. When I entered his office, the HR guy glanced down and said, “Long morning?” I panicked and replied, “No, just excited to be here.” FML
Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML
Today, I had a job interview; unfortunately for me, I was so nervous that all of a sudden I felt the need to take a huge dump. My bowels started growling out of protest. I tried to play it off as if it was due to me being hungry, but it sounded like I had a monster trapped in my guts. The interviewer raised an eyebrow in disbelief. FML
Today, right before a job interview, I spilled hot coffee all over my lap. The stain looked incredibly suspicious. During the interview, the recruiter kept glancing down awkwardly while I tried to maintain eye contact and confidence. FML
Today, I nailed a job interview and they hired me on the spot. The only problem was I was bursting at the seams and had to poop really bad. After destroying their bathroom and taking my leave, not an hour later I got a phone call saying they're "gonna go a different direction." FML
Today, I had a job interview. I didn't have any clothes suitable for the interview, so I went to the store early and bought some there. After the interview, I went to return the clothes, because they were so expensive. The hiring manager saw me. FML
Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML
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Top comments
losergirl 0
...lime green poop? Is she radioactive or something? Or does she just eat too many popsicles?
Curtieeeez 0
Lime green? What the hell are you feeding your kid?
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Comments (130)
SilverWolf_fml 0
ewwwwwww! thats nasty! i dont think i wanna no how ur babys shit is lime green.
1AAC 0
Look on the bright side, you're setting a new fashion trend and you're partially advertising Sprite.
Jurples 0
#59, go **** yourself. You obviously don't think of this from anyone else's perspective. You're a freaking self-centered asshole. People like babies. They are alot of work to take care of, I can totaly belive the OP in this. She was in a rush. OP, fyl :( I feel sorry for you. I hope that the employer has kids! They'll understand, I'm sure.
Mr_Kennedy 4
Toddler's and dogs are 2 things that bear big burdens. At least your child won't be like that forever.
shamille 5
eww.. and what have you been feeding her!?
loto_fml 3
Uuh... #17 she didn't walk in WITH the child in her arms. She dropped off the child and THEN went to the interview. She should have checked herself prior to seeing the people interviewing her. Retard? Ironic.
floatingdonut08 0
Absolutely priceless.
bluedoll 1
#59--do the world a favor and stick with that view. Don't have children to pass on the misanthropic gene. Such a jerk thing to say, "YDI for having a kid." You're well aware you were a child once, right? And you did horrid things to your caregivers.
xabuko 0
that is digusting!!!!...hope ur interview went well tho. lol
ohhhhshizzz 0
#59: Do you realize what the hell you were and still are? So shut the hell up, before someone comes and **** slaps you bitch.