Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview, I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a job interview wearing what I consider to be my lucky shirt. On my way to the interview, a bird dropped a load of bird poop on my shirt, and I didn't have time to change. During the interview, the interviewer kept staring at the poop stain on my shirt. FML
Today, I had a job interview. I stopped to take a pee in the lobby before I went in. I relaxed a bit too much at the urinal and accidentally farted. I chuckled about it like a 5 year-old for a few seconds. The guy who had been next to me at the urinal was the interviewer. FML
Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML
Today, I had an interview for a job I’ve dreamt about. I sat down in the lobby and spilled coffee on my crotch. I tried to dry it in the toilet, which made it look like I’d pissed myself. When I entered his office, the HR guy glanced down and said, “Long morning?” I panicked and replied, “No, just excited to be here.” FML
Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML
Today, I had a job interview; unfortunately for me, I was so nervous that all of a sudden I felt the need to take a huge dump. My bowels started growling out of protest. I tried to play it off as if it was due to me being hungry, but it sounded like I had a monster trapped in my guts. The interviewer raised an eyebrow in disbelief. FML
Today, right before a job interview, I spilled hot coffee all over my lap. The stain looked incredibly suspicious. During the interview, the recruiter kept glancing down awkwardly while I tried to maintain eye contact and confidence. FML
Today, I nailed a job interview and they hired me on the spot. The only problem was I was bursting at the seams and had to poop really bad. After destroying their bathroom and taking my leave, not an hour later I got a phone call saying they're "gonna go a different direction." FML
Today, I had a job interview. I didn't have any clothes suitable for the interview, so I went to the store early and bought some there. After the interview, I went to return the clothes, because they were so expensive. The hiring manager saw me. FML
Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML
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Top comments
losergirl 0
...lime green poop? Is she radioactive or something? Or does she just eat too many popsicles?
Curtieeeez 0
Lime green? What the hell are you feeding your kid?
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Comments (130)
xHaniffax 0
Do you not put nappies/diapers on your kid?
uscscreenwriter 0
I swear, the people who comment on FML are often some of the dumbest people on the planet. First off, poop can be weird colors. Especially in a baby. She might not mean lime green exactly, but I wouldn't be surprised if she did. Second, I'm sure the baby WAS wearing a diaper. Have you ever heard of something leaking? If you shift the baby against the side of your hip (as she was probably carrying it), the poop could leak out. Third, she was probably running late or at least cutting it close and didn't have time to check. I'll admit that I'm a little surprise she didn't notice it, but then again, I'm not a mother rushing to a job interview.
bayybee 0
#42. diapers leak. if you ever have kids, you'll learn the hard way.
suckitsucker 0
#5, you suck.
Naheelawhatwhat 0
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm lime green poop is great....Shoulda brought my diapies? idk. Well did you get the job even though you were poopy?
AnaMaree 0
o_0
thuryn 2
Agree with #43. Breastfed babies don't have poop that is all that smelly. It's quite easy to not notice it. Only BOTTLE fed babies have those God-awful stinky poops (or babies that have started on solids, which should not be done until after AT LEAST a year). As for the green color, my kids did THAT when they weren't feeling very well. Still didn't stink, but turned a freaky shade of green. Totally normal. And diapers leak. Sorry, OP. :( I hope the interviewer had kids, too.
ccristinaa 0
lime green shit? ew aw :(
LunaVachonFan95 0
Ewwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I read this while I'm eating dinner too! x_x lol
that_guy321 2
i'm assuming its from a bird? if so, the part about dropping off your daughter is irrelevant :]