Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML
Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her, "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home, with no shopping. FML
Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML
Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML
Today, I took my very talkative toddler to a grocery store. As we passed a woman in an aisle, my kid pointed and said loudly, "Mummy, why does that lady have such a funny face?" I had to awkwardly apologize while my face went beet red. FML
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Top comments
fightingkittens 39
When I was two I shouted "OH ****" when I couldn't find something in the fridge. I then told my mom I only said that when I was frustrated. Evidently I had picked up something from my dad getting pissed off at another driver. Kids just know when someone's cursed.
Shemp_5 14
Just tell her its a made up word that doesnt mean anything. Works every time for me with my little cousins
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Comments (72)
ChildrenOfFilth 12
It's the thing between your knees, you little shit. :)
igive 29
Please don't have kids.
ZoroMiHawk 25
You didn't even get it right, do you even know the difference between "legs" and "knees"?
ChildrenOfFilth 12
I don't know. I never had sex Ed, so technically the kid already knows more than me.
MzZombicidal 36
I'd say you're on the same level since she doesn't actually know what a **** is and you seem to act like one...
bayy1432 14
I am now wondering what's going on in your daughter's mind to randomly ask that. That's hilarious.
____gerard____ 11
Tell the little shit ._. Simple enough
martin8337 36
Can't Understand Normal Thinking.
JustSarah 13
Oh, I did the same when I was a child! I saw it written on a graffiti wall and loudly asked my mom what did it mean. She was so ashamed...
fabulouskenaz 6
Why not whip it out and show her?
vikky538 29
you should be happy at least..because she did not ask the same for Christmas ..(Referring to other FMLs)
Silk_Routes 14
Oh baby i cant show u now
keeks46 12
Ay bby u wan sum ***?
thing1andthing2 8
When she was 4, my best friend was asked by her grandmother during a visit whose best granddaughter she was as she pulled her onto her lap. My friend was not happy about being stopped from playing and replied, "Not yours, mother ******." We were told this story when we were in high school. My friend asked what her mom did to punish her after she said that. Her mom said she didn't. That they were all shocked, looked at each other and laughed so hard they nearly peed themselves. This was in the suburbs in the 1970s when children rarely heard those words. I still have no idea where she learned it.
Attacksloth 33
"Well, dear, it is actually another word for my ex boyfriends."