Today, I discovered the reason my 12-year-old brother has been anxious and afraid of cops for the last 6 months. My crazy mother convinced him that porn is illegal and comes with a death penalty. She did the same thing to me when I was his age. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that while I was at college, my brother downloaded three terabytes of porn on my laptop and blamed it on me. My parents believed him. FML
Today, I decided to go through my younger brother's browser history. I found out he goes regularly on PornHub. He's only 10. FML
Today, I came home to my frantic mom boxing up all the family electronics. She'd heard about the Roblox lawsuit and is now convinced that every inch of the internet is crawling with pedophiles. Now my two little brothers are throwing earsplitting tantrums and I have no way to drown them out. FML
Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML
Today, my eight year-old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mindfucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, I woke up to my wife yelling at my 11-year-old because she found porn on the laptop. Now I have to come clean and tell her it was me so I can get him off the hook. FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML
Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML
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Top comments
lj19717 19
Poor parenting
TheUnforgiven 8
I would just explain to your brother that's not the case. No reason he should be terrified of a natural curiosity that a large majority of people have also been curious about.
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Comments (34)
lj19717 19
Poor parenting
blightsight 10
same can be said for your parents for raising a brony.
simcityguy09 19
OHHHHHHH SHIT
simcityguy09 19
OHHHHHHH SHIT
TheUnforgiven 8
I would just explain to your brother that's not the case. No reason he should be terrified of a natural curiosity that a large majority of people have also been curious about.
RichardPencil 32
It just makes the **** that much hotter! The fact that it’s shameful and dirty makes it infinitely more exciting than watching an anatomy video.
manofmerr 27
Makes me wonder if he now sneaks into the neighbors house when they're not there, goes into their basement, covers all the windows and locks all the doors, and than breaks the law.
Lobby_Bee 18
Partially true, when it comes to child ****.
voncrane 23
Excellent point. That too should be explained incase he gets any ideas.. Innocent or not. Should not risk it.
pjsr 33
Wow, I agree your life was ******. Fortunately, your brother’s doesn’t have to be because you can tell him that while **** is illegal for those under 18, there’s no penalty. Every boy needs a dad or brother or someone to say, “Jacking off is normal and fun. I did it all the time at your age, and I still do it quite a bit.”
Blair White 3
That's a lie. watching **** is not illegal for those under 18. What you're thinking of is child ****, whether it's having access to it, distributing it, or being involved with it, and that's obviously on an adult, no innocent child victim would be punished for that horrendous situation.
Rabite 28
Masturbating doesn't equal watching ****. Most of the **** you find on the internet is also quite disturbing not even for children. Maybe the brother can also talk about how **** doesn't reflect sexuality at all.
Donut_Wizard 23
At least chocolate is still legal, right?
Jr Malvitz 15
it isn't
Davros 12
That's harsh. I would have just went with the You'll Go Blind excuse.
PenguinPal3017 19
I can't see this comment. What does it say?
manofmerr 27
It's a link to a medical article up on how excess masturbation can cause cells in your eyes to develop abnormally. leading to poor vision, and eventually blindness.
Jr Malvitz 15
it says penguinpal has watched way to much hentai
pjsr 33
How often can I do it and just need glasses?
manb91uk 22
No wonder sex is seen as something of a taboo in society... Your Moms a knob
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
so he can watch **** but he can't google f*cking laws?
Tarlachia 33
What 12 year old is thinking of googling laws?
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
Well don't you think that death penalty because you watched a **** is a biiit extreme? And with that you question that law and then what's dtopping you from googling it?
John Nemeth 14
Yea having the bird and the bees talk with a cop would be pretty dam awkward. Wait... do they even teach kids what they can do and can’t do in society?
pjsr 33
“When a detective and a beat cop love each other very much, he gets his ‘gun’ out and...”