Today, I found out that what I thought was my brother gasping and groaning in his dreams most nights is actually him jacking off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML
Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML
Today, I woke up after a really intense wet dream. Problem is, I'd fallen asleep in the living room. My little brother saw the whole thing. Now he's going around telling family I need to get some. FML
Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML
Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Today, my friend spent the night. I now know that she masturbates in her sleep. FML
Today, I came home early from work and found my brother in my bed with a girl I've never met. Apparently he's been using my house to hook up with girls while I'm gone. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, I realized that my brother is one of those people who comment on porn. I found out about it because he commented on my video. FML
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Top comments
AyeJay101 25
And I thought it was gonna end like he was having sex with someone... But that's some intense jerking.
Ecudaniel 16
wonder how you found out...
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Comments (79)
poppunkette 22
Oh that just sucks op maybe talk to him? Or if it's too embarrassing maybe headphones?
IDerive 12
Perhaps I've been doing it wrong all these years.. Maybe your brother should teach a class.
slackerjoe 22
that is fkn nasty! tell your parents, maybe they can move one of you into another room.
Dbotmen 9
If he's making sound then he's just a beginner.
abNormal62 23
I would have assumed the option of j/o long before the pattern of similar dream noises
saladass 4
maybe sleep on the couch from now on
worldclassrager 41
He must have some intense visualizations
SadSouthernBell 18
I just had a horrific thought, what if he is doing it in his sleep?!?!
Our_name_ 14
I think for you to hear him he must have been killing it xD
lil_juggalette 15
oh god... if that was me having to listen to that I'd go bang on his door and yell at him to ******* stop or I'll chase away all his potential gfs. FYL OP...
Junbun 2
no, you want to encourage him to date so that he isn't home stretching the sheets