Today, my husband rescued our daughter's cat from a tree. She spent the next hour clapping and telling me how much of a hero he was. Last night at 2 a.m., I was awoken by meowing and had to rescue the same cat from the same tree, in the dark, and halfway down he shit on me. No one called me a hero. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent a half hour trying to help my cat down after he got stuck in the tree on my lawn. I finally gave up and called a local tree care company to help. When I returned outside, I found my cat casually walking about by the door. The guy who showed up to help was not happy. FML
Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML
Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML
Today, I rescued a tiny kitten from the rain and brought him inside. I dried him off, gave him food, and wrapped him in a blanket. He immediately climbed onto my lap, purred for ten minutes, then sprinted upstairs and started destroying my curtains. I saved a cat. The cat saved nothing. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
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Top comments
irishdubr 0
Leave it in the tree, it will come down. Have u ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree?
bananapajama 0
I guess she wasn't able to witness it so it didn't have such a big impact. maybe you should keep kitty inside!
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Comments (153)
ecce 20
I don't think the point was to get called a hero. I think she was just pointing out the discrepancy. You are my hero and I know how you feel.
Jpinkkiss 0
your my hero for having a funny FML!!! lol :)
Terilyn4500 0
your a champion!!!!!!!! yahhhh
davidtheday 0
Boo hoo, no one called you a hero. First rule of being a hero: have a witness.
div01 2
Now I'm no english professor but isn't the right verb shat? BTW if you were jealous of your husband being called a hero you should have let the cat die in the tree, and had your daughter call him evil the next day for not saving it again. Then buy your daughter a dog. Hero status will be yours.
XanimalloverX 0
Keep kitty inside outdoor cats don't live as long as indoor cats.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
my outdoor cat lived now for 17 years and is still alive & well. So is his mother. even if he died at 12, he woulod have had a way better live than any indoor cat no matter what age. The only excuse to have an indoor cat is if you live in the middle of a crowded city where nothing but roads and concrete are
Chocolate_Chunk 2
(sorry for the ****** up english, my edit time ran out)
Howdyplz 2
Being a parent isn't about you being the hero. There are things you will do as a parent that you will not get recognition for, and you shouldn't expect recognition. You should be satisfied that your daughter calleed your husband a hero, because now you know that it applies to you as well. Seeing your daughter happy should be reward enough for you.
quarterback 0
Keep the damn cat in the house.
BeyondAwkward 4
SERIOUSLY.
Carterv 0
If the cat cab get ip there, it can get down. Mine does it all the time.
skullbuster 0
Awwwwww... You didn't get the recognition you deserved for your daring rescue, well damned right, FYL. If it will make you feel better...[insert slow clap here for effect]