Today, my husband rescued our daughter's cat from a tree. She spent the next hour clapping and telling me how much of a hero he was. Last night at 2 a.m., I was awoken by meowing and had to rescue the same cat from the same tree, in the dark, and halfway down he shit on me. No one called me a hero. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent a half hour trying to help my cat down after he got stuck in the tree on my lawn. I finally gave up and called a local tree care company to help. When I returned outside, I found my cat casually walking about by the door. The guy who showed up to help was not happy. FML
Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML
Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML
Today, I rescued a tiny kitten from the rain and brought him inside. I dried him off, gave him food, and wrapped him in a blanket. He immediately climbed onto my lap, purred for ten minutes, then sprinted upstairs and started destroying my curtains. I saved a cat. The cat saved nothing. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
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Top comments
irishdubr 0
Leave it in the tree, it will come down. Have u ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree?
bananapajama 0
I guess she wasn't able to witness it so it didn't have such a big impact. maybe you should keep kitty inside!
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Comments (153)
jisaac09 25
Just my guess but is it really called being a hero if u do sumthing that dont need to be done??? I mean, would i be a hero if i walked over there, picked up a cat and brought it over her just cause it was meowing???? Not really, the cat really didnt need anything, cats have evolved to climb trees. I mean, i dont go picking up my grandma and carrying her all over the place cause shes in her rocking chair talking, cause i know she can get out of it....
Snow_Daisy 7
lmfao that's pretty effing funny..
XBCX96 4
you werent called a hero? its probably because you had cat shit all over you
ghost010 6
The point of doing a good deed is not for the praise but for the fact that you did the right thing. Even if no one saw you, or even if the whole world saw you it doesn't change what you have to do.
danyfuckinheatle 0
JELOUS
wintamint101 7
this doesnt make sense, it says her husband rescued the cat, not the OP
Sersha88 0
Rescue the cat from the tree........... have you ever seen a dead cat in a tree?
Chocolate_Chunk 2
actually, it's "Poor me, I have to get up around 2 AM to climb a tree and get shat on as a thank you. And to make things worse, everyone is just too stupid to understand a bit of sarcasm"
bongomanacome 0
You've got issues. About more than kittens. I hope for your daughter.
TourmentBook2 0
Aww and @ number 129 wth?