Today, my husband rescued our daughter's cat from a tree. She spent the next hour clapping and telling me how much of a hero he was. Last night at 2 a.m., I was awoken by meowing and had to rescue the same cat from the same tree, in the dark, and halfway down he shit on me. No one called me a hero. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent a half hour trying to help my cat down after he got stuck in the tree on my lawn. I finally gave up and called a local tree care company to help. When I returned outside, I found my cat casually walking about by the door. The guy who showed up to help was not happy. FML
Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML
Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML
Today, I rescued a tiny kitten from the rain and brought him inside. I dried him off, gave him food, and wrapped him in a blanket. He immediately climbed onto my lap, purred for ten minutes, then sprinted upstairs and started destroying my curtains. I saved a cat. The cat saved nothing. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
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Top comments
irishdubr 0
Leave it in the tree, it will come down. Have u ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree?
bananapajama 0
I guess she wasn't able to witness it so it didn't have such a big impact. maybe you should keep kitty inside!
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Comments (153)
master565 0
u shouldn't do good for respect u should do good because it's right
MorbidMalice 0
....Cats don't need rescuing from trees. They can get down themselves. Why do people do this?
caligirl89 0
Seems your a dog kinda person?? Mmm...
QuietRiots 0
Cats can climb. Leave them up there. Worst case scenario, the cat falls and sprains a leg (not likely to break unless they are WAY up there or land very poorly), and learns not to climb trees.
MrIrish20 1
The OP is an idiot, it's 2am when she said she rescued the cat and she said she was AWOKEN by it, likely meaning that everyone else was asleep. It's 2:58am when she posted this, she says no one called her a hero, BECAUSE EVERYONE IS ASLEEP!! YDI, get over yourself.
yoshiyoshi_fml 0
Are you aware that OP lives in British Columbia? She might be in a different time zone than you, not to mention, most FML's don't really happen 'Today'.
eric01 0
idk why would anyone get a cat, they are stupid. YDI
ayashe 2
Don't let your cat outside. And cat haters and animals haters are evil.
blondiee09 0
true heroes don't need acknowlegment for good deeds.
This_Quiet_Storm 0
You gave her life, you are a hero. If you raise her right she'll realize this one day. :) I did about my mom.
wizardwannabe 0
dont let the cat out then it wont be killed by dogs,cars or diseisease and it wont shit on you
Besker 0
don't rescue cats from trees, have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree? I doubt it, they'll come down on their own when they're hungry enough