Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for "anti-social behavior." FML
Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML
Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML
Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML
Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
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Top comments
thecuriouskat 20
Honestly, would it have been that hard to say "Excuse me sir, but would you please move?"
kinky44 28
Behavior like that just blows me away.
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Comments (66)
DenverTyrrell 13
What did you do? I would have kicked off at him big time! That's discussing! FYL sorry
2ru 14
I almost choked reading this.
chidexy 21
Well if he farts like this all the time then he's wife probably knows how it smells. She would know it wasn't you
NLM22 14
lol I know what you mean. I could tell if my mother's fared with my eyes closed.... so sad .. I know!!
ryebread94 9
90% positive that this was my dad...
mamadeco 7
did u ask?
chrisgregory1993 3
ow man I'm so easily amused 'bows head in shame'.
demonfacee 14
That's gotta stink. The wife knows it's him who farted, she's just afraid to point out his flaws.
mr1234 6
just say "excuse me" and make them move; they're the ones that are in they way. especially when they obviously have no shame like this person.
maharb01 17
say "whoever smelt it, dealt it"
taylorbrown97 23
Try saying excuse me?