Today, my kid kept trying to play in the aisles at Costco and wouldn't listen when I told him to stop. He was spinning in circles when a guy with a cart full of sodas ran into him, rolling over his leg. The first thing my wife said? "Why didn't you tell him to stop?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my toddler bolted in a parking lot, running through lanes of cars, right past a man, and forcing me to drop everything I was holding and catch him. I gave the man hell, demanding to know why he didn't even try to stop my child from running into traffic. He just said, "Not my kid, not my problem." Asshole. FML
Today, I was at Costco, with my six year-old and my baby. I turned my back on them to grab something off a shelf and heard the baby scream. I turned around and saw my son dumping a gallon jug of mayonnaise all over my baby in his stroller. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, a kid got his hand stuck inside my store's giant gumball machine. He started crying, and his negligent trainwreck of a mom bitched me out for being "unobservant." I'd been mopping up the mess she'd made after she'd spilled an open can of beer all over the floor. FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML
Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML
Today, I was at a grocery store when I slipped on a puddle of water. I tried to catch my balance, grabbed a shelf, and instead took down an entire display of chocolate boxes. People rushed over to help, albeit while smirking, and a kid yelled, “Do it again!” FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
It is the parents responsibility to keep their child safe and under control in a store. Obviously you and your wife failed to do this.
Thaylok 17
1) You ask. 2) You Tell. 3) You take control. This is not difficult. You are the parent. You are in charge. Take control. And that is not saying you beat your child. However, words are not working here and the child got what they deserved. Quit being a laundry-room-mom and drawing a line (count to 3) and then moving the line (okay when I get to 5).
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Comments (5)
ryan4723 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sounds like you’re just a giant pussy.
Chazzster 32
It is the parents responsibility to keep their child safe and under control in a store. Obviously you and your wife failed to do this.
Thaylok 17
1) You ask. 2) You Tell. 3) You take control. This is not difficult. You are the parent. You are in charge. Take control. And that is not saying you beat your child. However, words are not working here and the child got what they deserved. Quit being a laundry-room-mom and drawing a line (count to 3) and then moving the line (okay when I get to 5).
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I'm not a parent but even I know how to handle this better. If telling the kid to stop doesn't work, then you grab his arm and drag him back to you and your wife, firmly reiterating what you just ordered him to do. In this case, hopefully he learned his lesson.
Zebediabolical 45
"He tried but the cart full of sodas had too much momentum" :D