Spy vs. Spy
Today, my father tried to secretly follow me all day, because he doesn't believe that I have any "real" errands to run or friends to meet with. He's actually convinced that I'm living some secret double life with another family. FML
Today, my father tried to secretly follow me all day, because he doesn't believe that I have any "real" errands to run or friends to meet with. He's actually convinced that I'm living some secret double life with another family. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad tried to confiscate my car keys because he doesn’t like how late I stay out on the weekends. I’m 26, have owned my own home since I was 24, and also how the fuck does he know what time I get home? My own dad is stalking me. FML
Today, and lately, my dad has an annoying habit of knowing where I’ve been, even though I never go anywhere worth mentioning. On a hunch, I checked my phone and it turns out he’s been tracking my location. I’ve literally done nothing to deserve this lack of trust, and now I think I hate him. FML
Today, my dad lied and said he was busy working, all because he didn't want to see me. FML
Today, on my way to see my therapist, my father told me to lie to her and tell her that I'm happy so he wouldn't have to drive me there anymore. FML
Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML
Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
Today, my dad threatened to hit me if I didn't tell him what I had in my homework. He thinks I won't keep secrets from him this way. There's a reason I kept secrets in the first place. FML
Today, I had to chase after my dad through a closing garage door to stop him from driving off fuming and doing something stupid. He recently got betrayed at work and called my mom's friend her boyfriend. I'm 27, living at home, don't want kids, no girlfriend, few, if any, good friends, likely unemployable because of resume gaps and bipolar. FML
Today, my dad described our security cameras recording a stranger stealing money from his car, and then called me unhealthy and paranoid for locking my car all the time. My car is usually parked right next to his. FML
Today, my parents scoured my browser history, certain that I have a hidden Facebook account that I'm using to get up to no good. Their reasoning was that there's no way my only friends are my relatives and that all I can post about is about the weather. FML
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Top comments
Rei_Ayanami 18
Maybe you should pay more attention to and spend more time with your father. He may feel neglected. Or you could make him a tinfoil hat...
jaronapn13 1
Prove him wrong.
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Comments (42)
thecovert 7
Tell him you just FEEL that way because he is being an idiot.
alittlebecause 4
Um.... Dad may be paranoid schizophrenic. I'm not joking. Talk to a therapist or psychiatrist soon.
thebestintheworl 20
wow
worldclassrager 41
well he'll learn eventually...you could report him as a stalker to get him away...but that may drive him more...
daliagrande 17
Next time before you leave the house tell him you're gonna go see your dad and walk away.
andrew6p 19
I your father under the influence of drugs or anything OP?
davidm200 6
wpw.... lol an im doing jus tht
tinysocks 11
Totally rational explanation...
Yolandababy2 14
I would pretend that I dot know him and pepper spray him in the face and beat him real good. And then look at him and say..DAD?!? I didn't know that was you?!?! Lol
speakfreely 21
This is halirious