Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML
Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML
Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML
Today, my neighbor waved at me while he mowing his lawn. Wanting to be friendly, I waved back. In doing so I tripped on the curb, fell onto my own trash can, and rolled halfway into the street. He didn’t stop mowing. FML
Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML
Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
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Top comments
teehee520 0
That's nasty.
lifeislife_fml 0
#60: Only the "Today" and "FML" parts are necessary. I doubt editors would go around inserting pointless words. And if it was added for consistency, all the FMLs would say "proceeded to [insert a ton of verbs that could be replaced with one verb]". That would suck.
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Comments (80)
brave_fml 0
Lawnmowers/weedwackers that shoot the grass and shit at you, are Not Safe. I hope you were wearing goggles!
dlogan93 0
looks that shit "hit the fan" hahahahahahaaa
Georgek44 0
#59 LMAO. Since when does shit proceed? that sounds as if the shit voluntarily hit you in the face
egypt_fml 0
When I was little, I was watching my dad use the weed wacker. A longish piece of straw flew right into my tear duct and actually got stuck there, so my dad pulled it out. Imagine if it would have been a little more to the right or left, it would have poked me right in the eye! Eghh, the thought of it makes me cringe.
lifeislife_fml 0
#60: Only the "Today" and "FML" parts are necessary. I doubt editors would go around inserting pointless words. And if it was added for consistency, all the FMLs would say "proceeded to [insert a ton of verbs that could be replaced with one verb]". That would suck.
brookester23 0
That same exact thing happened to my dad! Lol never thought I'd read it on FML, he laughed too. :] It does suck though. Ewww.
PrettyVal 0
This is just funny, because, well dogs do not go to the restroom. Haha. Learn to clean up after your dogs? And possibly don't mow your lawn with a weedwacker...they fling things.
mylittlecrow 0
proceeded.... *sigh* You people NEED to stop using that word. YDI for *proceeding* to do stuff :p
Luneth101 0
Say, 'which flung into my face,' not, 'Which proceeded to fling into my face.' You sound stupid, not even using that word right.
mydaysbetterXD 0
bahahahahahhaha!!!! ohh shit guess that's what cha get!