Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML
Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML
Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML
Today, my neighbor waved at me while he mowing his lawn. Wanting to be friendly, I waved back. In doing so I tripped on the curb, fell onto my own trash can, and rolled halfway into the street. He didn’t stop mowing. FML
Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML
Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
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Top comments
teehee520 0
That's nasty.
lifeislife_fml 0
#60: Only the "Today" and "FML" parts are necessary. I doubt editors would go around inserting pointless words. And if it was added for consistency, all the FMLs would say "proceeded to [insert a ton of verbs that could be replaced with one verb]". That would suck.
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Comments (80)
24788 7
I used to mow lawns as a job and I know what it's like. It really sucks.
heatherfeather 4
YDI because why don't you clean up your back yard of the dog poop?
wutupbruh 0
I absentmindedly weedwack dog poop. which then exploded into my face. FML. Doesnt that sound so much cooler anyways??!!
Rawrrr14 0
agh. Wow. I feel for you. but lmao that must have been some show for the neighbors!
drinkupgorgeous 0
A lot of FML's also have "turns out" in them. FMLs with "proceeded": 68 FMLs with "turns out": 119 Yes, I was that bored.
dirtyhippie 0
As anyone can see all the fmls are written to a formula Today... (although not referring to this actual day) followed with a very short summary and of course ending with FML. The 'proceeded' is clearly added in by the editor before posting probably with the intention of consistency.
gregthestrange 3
seriously, who the **** mows with a weed whacker? it's completely inefficient and a huge waste of your time. just borrow a neighbors mower and pay them for letting you borrow it
WIDRR 0
I think just about everyone is missing the true reason the OP deserves it, he/she tried to mow the lawn with a damn weedwacker! Who cares if the guard was on, you dont mow the whole damn lawn with a weedwacker. It would take forever for one, and you would have to put quite a bit of effort into keeping it steady to make sure you cut the grass evenly.. so YDI for being a complete moron and attempting to cut the grass with a weedwacker.
poppy1800 0
that is plain sad
SurpriseButtseks 0
PRO-*******-CEEDED!