Today, while cleaning out my garage, I found a pregnant spider. I couldn't step on the spider without releasing the baby spiders, so I went inside to get a glass jar to trap it. While trying to relocate the spider, I accidentally stepped on it. I now have a bunch of baby spiders roaming around. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for God knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowingly drove it around. FML
Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML
Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML
Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML
Today, I was having my morning coffee while getting ready for work. I grabbed clothes off the floor to throw in the hamper. I accidentally threw my full coffee instead. FML
Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML
Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML
Today, I was talking with a very attractive coworker outside when a moth flew into my ear. I started screaming and hitting my ear because it was stuck and alive in my ear. I spent the rest of the day at the ER. I'm forever known as The Moth Lady. FML
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Top comments
bethan1 4
For some reason I read this as "I found a pregnant sister" it was way cooler that way.
Lounia_fml 8
At 18 :P
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Comments (200)
badboy310 0
dude I hope ur not scared from spiders or baby spider oh yeah first
Specterk50 0
I am....plus I thought spiders laid eggs
iJamesJamesable 0
don't baby spiders hitch a ride on their mother's back?
badboy310 0
some spiders don't lay eggs actully
Lolerskatez 0
I killed one the other day a while bunch of babies ran off of it was kinda cool til I realized what'd I'd done lol xD
UnicornsDoExist 0
Ooooh, sick D:
Mehness 0
9 - Not sure whether it's a minority or majority, but some lay eggs, and some lay eggs in a pouch for their young to travel along with them.
ShorTiE4LyFe 0
One time, I found a prego spider at school and I squished it. And then we made a game on who could squish the most baby spiders. XD
hairt 4
#80 OMFG EWW LOL
Selena_is_back 7
baby spiders are hitchhikers... XD
theporkchop 0
haha squish squish.
johnsonvillecity 0
if you step on a pregnant spider shouldn't the babies be crushed too?
Mister_Grinch 0
Am I missing something here because as far as I know, Spiders aren't squishable toys where the cotton just magically comes out. Baby spiders weren't already born inside of her ready to pop out like donut cream at any given time. Also, don't spiders lay eggs? I have a feeling that this is a troll fml.
Mehness 0
151 - Haven't you ever seen pictures of spiders carrying their young? Search it now. It's interesting.
coolcool101 3
so you were like baby baby baby *squish*
best1onmap78 0
what I would have done once I saw those spi
crazyfury 0
Hahaha same here too in the garage. They were flying. OMG that fing scared me.
mjprox 0
163... Justin Beaver reference...
Stonerworld 9
dude idk what the **** you just said
changesinme 0
spiderman
mcdougri 0
LOL
maskedman 9
have fun with your new spider family. it won't be so bad.
ohsuzykuew 0
or go buy some bug spray.
Paris01 0
ewwwwww! I hate spiders!! :S
syddyb 0
hey sister!:D
xlbsiewmai 0
not much of an fml to me.
DjeePee 25
Pff, it's just your garage. If you're not afraid of spiders it isn't that bad. Besides, many baby spiders will move out.
Lounia_fml 8
At 18 :P
Selena_is_back 7
lol
luckyyyy 0
or die
fakeaccountX 6
In Soviet Russia spider step on you.
slurshies 11
in soviet Russia cold catches you, too
KatieKhaos 0
I'd say step on them aswell
chloec16 0
babeh spidahz!
97090370 0
that's ucky
gars56 5
Ya. If you stepped on the prego one would it not kill the babies as well?
Sailor_Mars 6
Am I the only one where who actaully likes spiders?
Sailor_Mars 6
*actually
KiddNYC1O 22
Yeah, get rid of "where" also.
CrimsonWolf1294 0
I think it's meant to say "here". and yeah, you are
rabidgerbil 6
i do. i love them lol
mandy248 0
no. I love spiders
threer 30
Me too. Spiders are awesome!
momo3p 22
Yes
Selena_is_back 7
shit
KiddNYC1O 22
caca
Selena_is_back 7
poop
MissErikaHart 0
dung
mak3_1t_ra1n 0
fertilizer
FTWisRIGHT 0
feces
RawrrrImADino 0
doo-doo
jobart_fml 5
merde!
Hunter148Cassie 0
cow manure
Nerry_fml 0
dookie :D
crashsapphire93 4
scat
threer 30
Justin Bieber
mattNL 0
wow looks like you're a real man..
elme0212 0
not if it's a girl..