Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 minutes away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I went to a shop known for its hardcore sex toys. We happened to run into one of my university lecturers and her wife discussing butt plugs with a member of staff, and then saw my aunt and uncle at the register. FML
Today, my wife and I decided to go to an adult store and buy some toys to spice up the bedroom a bit. She wanted to buy a double-edged dildo so "we can use it together". I'm a guy. FML
Today, I decided to play hooky to go buy new toys from the sex store to spice things up for my girlfriend and me. Well, things got awkward when my boss was also playing hooky and in the same sex store after I'd told him I was out for a funeral. FML
Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML
Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML
Today, a customer walked up to me with a dog toy and said, "I knew one-stop shopping was a thing, but I didn't know you guys carried dildos." FML
Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML
Today, I was working by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated, I started to moan and say dirty things… Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store where my husband works. I wanted to surprise him, so I went up behind him and started kissing his neck. He seemed to love it, and so did I, until I noticed it wasn't my husband. FML
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Oh no! Now your neighbour knows you have a healthy sex life! Whatever will you do? How will you ever live it down? The only solution is to have loud, raucous sex all the time so he knows your purchase was successful.
n3rdzgotskillz 29
Hey, you only BOUGHT something from a sex shop. They WORK there. I think you're pretty even!
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Comments (198)
torianab 7
You should've asked if you could take advantage of their discount! Besides, did he/she really even care?
thewife5 19
If it is SO embarrassing for you, order online. You sound like you're 12
brandonwong 18
Working there is more embarrassing than buying from there.
Legendoflaw 4
Not only are you married, but your next door neighbor WORKS there. Stop caring about what other people think! I've went with my wife and GROUPS of friends to the adult stores. Not only is it funny to see what every one else buys... It's even funnier to hear the stories that they tell after!
Legendoflaw 4
If your neighbor works there, I'm sure they own half if not more of the toys in the store. You can always ask to borrow them! Jk. That's disgusting.
desertlovebird 11
At least your getting some loving in your life. Don't complain !
taystahl 7
That sucks!
verkaderk 9
So you have sex with your husband... What's to be ashamed of?
SoultheWolf 19
I really don't see the problem. You are married, many people like using toys, lingerie, or other stuff to spice up their sex life. YDI for driving 30 miles to another place just to go to another store because you are too embarrassed. If you are too embarrassed to buy them then you shouldn't be using them in the first place.
YeniDewie 0
teens, never waste your whole life because of your temporary emotions ! ... life is georgeous ! :)