Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 minutes away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I went to a shop known for its hardcore sex toys. We happened to run into one of my university lecturers and her wife discussing butt plugs with a member of staff, and then saw my aunt and uncle at the register. FML
Today, my wife and I decided to go to an adult store and buy some toys to spice up the bedroom a bit. She wanted to buy a double-edged dildo so "we can use it together". I'm a guy. FML
Today, I decided to play hooky to go buy new toys from the sex store to spice things up for my girlfriend and me. Well, things got awkward when my boss was also playing hooky and in the same sex store after I'd told him I was out for a funeral. FML
Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML
Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML
Today, a customer walked up to me with a dog toy and said, "I knew one-stop shopping was a thing, but I didn't know you guys carried dildos." FML
Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML
Today, I was working by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated, I started to moan and say dirty things… Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store where my husband works. I wanted to surprise him, so I went up behind him and started kissing his neck. He seemed to love it, and so did I, until I noticed it wasn't my husband. FML
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Oh no! Now your neighbour knows you have a healthy sex life! Whatever will you do? How will you ever live it down? The only solution is to have loud, raucous sex all the time so he knows your purchase was successful.
n3rdzgotskillz 29
Hey, you only BOUGHT something from a sex shop. They WORK there. I think you're pretty even!
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Comments (198)
noisebox 1
And now they know your partner is a back door man!
nancem 7
.
snowhitee 6
Okay so? Plus, wouldn't you have noticed him when you walked in?
niplipsip 9
This post saddens me. Seriously OP? Ashamed of keeping a healthy, fun sex life with your husband? Shit, I'm single and I proudly wave my sex toys in the air like I just don't care on a regular basis. Nothing wrong with adding a little extra fun ;)
avaloncode 8
joke's on them, they work there
marramrammar 2
Your grown- sure she will appreciate that you have an active sex life. If a woman beware her seeking out your significant other for pleasure .
kitties_fml 12
guys, i dunno if you know about this, but...there's this convenient thing called "the internet."
LokiLaufeyson 2
You're forgetting that they WORK there. I don't think they're offended or weirded out by people shopping there.
luminos77 3
How is that an FML? That's a good thing.
jayzyone 4
It's a small world after all, LOL.